General Q&A thread

Considering the success of the V-man's Q&A thread (yes I slightly jelly) I figured I would make my own. Though keep in mind I might not know the answers to some of your questions. Nerveless I will answer to the best of my ability.

Why Ching Chong will never be able to win the Republican primary

So I went through on the pregnancy joke yesterday.

>"Ching Chong I have to tell you something"
>"What is it anon"? She asked cautiously.
>"I'm pregnant and I don't know who the father is". I say.
>HFW

>"You okay Ching Chong"? I ask.
>Then out of nowhere she lets out a quick jab with her fist at my abdomen. 
>I bend over as the win is knocked out of me
>Then she starts talking again
>In a rushed and high pitched voice she ask "did I get rid of it"? Over and over again. 
>I manage to cough out that I was joking. 
>She realizes she dun goofed
>"A joke".
>"Me too anon. I was joking also. It was funny right? Right?
>Then she let out a very unconvincing and very creepy laugh. 

>I decided it was best not to push the issue 
>She's been pretty clingy since yesterday, more so than usual
>I think she feels bad about the thing but doesn't know what to say

So in conclusion
>Ching Chong ignores the fact I don't have a uterus
>Tried to perform an abortion
>Used the Falcon punch method
>Is embarrassed about the whole debacle 

Ching Chong is beyond therapy isn't she?

So one of you anon's asked me to to Ching Chong about my dream. Well I did that but first I'd like to share another story. 

>Ching Chong is happily cooking lunch

>Not sure what it was, forgot to ask the name

>Do ask her what's the special occasion is

>She calls it "Black King guy day"

>"You mean MLK day"

>"Yeah that one. If he didn't beat up the sheet knights we wouldn't be able to be together"

>"Sheet knights? You mean the Klan."

>"Yeah the one with all the K's." 

This went on for a little while but to summarize. A keynote this was what Ching Chong actually believed

>MLK was actually a monarch of black people

>The KKK were actual knights with swords, armor, and steeds

>George Wallace was an evil wizard who killed black people with magic

>The South was a Medieval land during the civil rights era

>She thought this was all true because she thought rural was synonymous with feudal. 

>MFW

And it gets even weirder. So once I explained why she was mistaken in her assumptions of american history. I told her about my dream. She just looked at me for a second and asked if I was sure it wasn't about going on vacation to the beach. She wasn't at all worried that dream her killed someone. No she was wondering why I didn't have the same dream as her. Because apparently that was what was suppose to happen. I didn't even bother to ask her why she would think we have the ability to share dreams. I don't think my ribs would have been able to take it. 

Fucking dream land

So I don't usually remember my dreams but when I do they're weird as fuck.

>Dream is sometime in the near future
>Guess I told Ching Chong at some point to see a therapist for some help
>She comes home her face smeared with blood
>What happened to you? I ask
>Therapist suggested we spend time apart, this was unacceptable, she had to removed. 
>You kill her?
>Yes, for us.
>You can't just go around killing people.
>Why?
>Because you just can't, trust me I'm an expert on this. 
>HFW

>Then she flung me over her shoulder and started walking to a basement that does not exist


>Then I woke up. 

Ching Chong's face was hovering over me, smiling. She said I looked cute when I was sleeping. Then she asked me if I had any good dreams.

I'm scared guys.

Well that was a bit anti-climatic. I still have all my limbs.

When you have a unique girlfriend you start to ask yourself questions. Questions like what it would feel like if she chopped off your genitals, or tossed acid on your skin, or shot you in the spinal column. One question I never asked though was what she could do with pen, paper, and a little adhesive.

>I wake up to find that all I can see is yellow.
>She has put sticky notes over most of my body
>They all have the same words written on them
>"Property of Ching Chong"
>Eventually get them off of me
>Walk into the kitchen
>She is making breakfast wearing the apron I got for her
>Nothing but that apron
>This does not comply with health regulations
>Ching Chong spots me
>She tells me to come over
>Oh yeah kitchen sex time
>Nope
>Starts hitting with a big ass spoon
>Yeah she still mad
>Eventually though she stopped hitting me
>Said I was forgiven and handed we breakfast
>Everything went better than expected

I think the sex helped.

Also since Vyro is looking for a nickname thing for his girl I suggest Lily. Since they're fairly similar to one another.

Going full retard

Oh lordy I dun goofed. So me and Ching Chong we're sitting down to dinner. I'd actually made it this time, I was quite proud of myself. Sure it was just spaghetti but still. So we were eating and making some light conversation. She was asking how I liked my Christmas present and I was telling her how I've been using it to read books I've legally purchased, how I respect intellectual property, and how I wrote to my congressman to support SOPA and the Protect IP Act. Anyway yeah books. Been reading a lot of alternative history stuff. Jake Featherston is a pretty cool guy, he's here to tell you the truth and doesn't afraid of Negros or anything. She seemed pretty interested in the idea of differing time lines and such. Then suddenly the higher functioning part of my brain shut down. I wondered aloud what it would be like if we never meet. HFW

Once she had finished chewing her food she just looked at me and said "no".

I sort of pissed her off.

She really didn't like the idea of there even being the possibility that me might not have ended up together. Mind you she didn't explain this to me verbally but rather by angry movements with her arms while she tried to find words to express her rage. So thinking quickly I said I wanted to have sex with her. Okay I was a bit more sly about it than that. I said she should punish her property.

I was able to tame the rage inside her. She's sleeping right now but I don't know how she's going to be when she wakes up tomorrow. Don't know whether she'll be calmer or whether the anger will return with a vengeance. I'm a little scared I'm going to end up like Nate.

In a cave with a box of scraps

So I downloaded Katawa Shoujo recently. I got Ching Chong to play it with me, although she made me disable adult content. That seafood.

Anyway we tried to go for the Hanako route but we ended up with Emi. Not sure how it happened exactly. Ever we avoided the bad ends for the routes. I think the trick is keep taking risks that can make you have a heart attack again. To win a persons heart in the game you must risk your own. It was fun though. Ching Chong really got into it. In fact she actually pushed me out of the way when I was going to make a choice she didn't agree with. We also became science bros with the teacher. So that probably means we'll make a new artificial heart and cyborg legs. Also Kenji is a freeloader who steals books from the library, fuck him.

We're going to try for Lily next because we want to find out why she and Shizune dislike each other so much. Plus she seemed to be a pretty classy lady.

Glad I have today off

New Years was Rocketship spectacular to say the least. At first when we got there Ching Chong was pretty shy around everyone. She was actually hiding behind me for awhile, holding on to the back of my shirt like a frightened child. Which lead to a couple of comments about that. 

Anyway we eventually all sat around in a circle and listened to the wise African sage (the token black guy in our group) as he told us the origin of Kwanzaa. For a pacifist MLK sure did slay a lot of dragons. 


After which the party officially started with drinking and dancing. Ching Chong was well. Her dancing was not good to say the least. Like at first I was just wondering if she was having a seizure or something. So trying to get her to follow the beat was pretty fun. Also got her to make a bit of small talk with some other people but she made socially awkward Penguin look like some kind of alpha animal. I then got the glorious idea to give her some of the eggnog which had liquid courage in it, in order to make her feel more comfortable. Well it had some pretty hard liquor in it. I think it might have been gin or maybe rum. Hard to tell with the taste of eggnog. However the point is that it was a tad stronger than what she's drank before. 

Pretty soon she was drunk as hell. Which wasn't too bad as she was a very happy drunk. Almost childlike in nature, it was adorable. She also started talking a lot more, in fact I think she may have forgotten how to shut up. Because we soon discovered she would answer whatever you ask her or turn bright red and say "that's private and mine, you can't have it". It was pretty funny. Then the vomiting started. Which was not enjoyable. 


She got a pretty bad hangover to say the least. Which meant we had to go out to a restaurant and eat some menudo. I think it worked pretty well for her. Especially since we got the red variant, not that shitty blanco stuff they serve in Sonora. Seriously 
>2012 
>not putting crushed red chili peppers in your menduo
>ISHYGDDT