All aboard the lewd train WHOO WHOO!

Well time for cute stories huh?

So me and Ching Chong were watching witchcraft works because well you can figure out why. Ching Chong was confused why the main character wasn't taken home by the love interest earlier. In her words, "she's bigger she can just throw him over her shoulder". I also asked her if I was her princess. She said no because sluts can not be princesses, but that I was her slut and that was better than being a princess because it was lewder. Then she ruffled my hair for awhile.

It's also finally gotten colder around here now so she's made start wearing a jacket when we're outside even though it's not really that chilly, long pants too. Although when we're home she doesn't have me wear too much even if it is a bit cold. So I wondered if she just didn't want people to be able to see my body. I asked her this and she said yeah, that it was hers and other people looking at it was akin to stealing. I then asked her if there was anything else she hadn't told me about lately. She thought for about a minute and then said "you smell different when you're sleeping".

It made me blush a lot for some reason, which only made her hornier. So at the end of that day I ended up smelling like salty coins and milk.


Sorry it's short but hey you got it twice in one month.

Yeah I died but I took a dip in the pit so I'm better now.

Hey everyone I know I haven't posted in awhile. Honestly it's because I forgot about the blog for awhile. Anyway things have been going pretty well for me. I'm now just working part time so I've been able to work on my cooking skills so I can make better food for her. Now time for cute stories.

I was laying down in Ching Chong's lap while she was petting my head and we were watching Star Wars rebels. She really likes it, especially Zeb the alien muscle guy, who I've decided to call fuzzy purple butt-cheeks. She doesn't really care for that nickname tends to punish me when I say it, I say it a lot obviously. But back to where I was. We were watching the show when suddenly she asks "do you think Jedi use the force when they have sex?" I reply maybe, but they probably don't get much action because of the code and shit. She leans over and whispers "I'm going to use some force on you later tonight". It took me ten seconds to process that horrible pun. She laughed that I was so slow on the up take and said she was going to have to punish me because "a trooper should be smarter than that".  Well I though it was cute.

Okay another Ching Chong was talking to my mother about this trip she took a Mormon temple the church just finished building. Well they have this thing where they let outsiders and people who don't lie about their activities in order to get a temple recommend inside the place before it's consecrated. So she's talking about all the stuff she saw pretty celestial rooms and whatnot. I guess she also mentioned the story of Jaredites or maybe it was the Nephites, probably the former though. Because later she got through talking to my mom she goes to our book shelf and grabs my Quadruple combination of the standard works and starts flipping through the pages.I come over and ask her what shes looking for. She holds the thing up and asks me "Did the Jews have submarines in this"?

Now I know what you're thinking right now? Jewish submarines that's ridiculous there's no way she heard that story right that idea is completely stupid. Well you're technically right she did misunderstand the story and that's not that stupid, it's even dumber than that. So the story is in the book of Ether and it's about the Jaredites who a group of people lead by Jared (because Smith was too lazy to come up with a better name) and they just escaped the tower of Babel. Well then Elohim tells them they've got to build these barges, eight of them. Now these barges are made of wood but are airtight save for two air holes (one in the top and one in the bottom, i.e., only one usable at a time because they would be submerged by water occasionally.).  These boats contained not only people, but livestock and seeds of many kinds, apparently with enough food and water that no landfall was necessary (the trip was the length of a standard year). They then ended up at Lake Ontario. Then after they had pretty much killed themselves by civil war the Nephites (Jews) showed up in the western hemisphere roughly 1,500 years later.

Ching chong had kind of gotten bored about halfway though me describing it though so she just told me to start making diner already. When I'm making stuff however and she's there she can be rally uh handsy. She'll do things like walk by me and slap my ass, lean over and sniff me, trail her fingers along my back, lick me, ect. It's a game where I have to keep focused and not get a boner otherwise I might end up ruining the food and she would punish me.

It's a fun game. Not as fun as when we feed each other, but still fun.

Oh also Ching Chong apparently showed pictures of me to her co-workers, because they kept asking what her husband looked like. She was disgruntled about this. Said it felt like she was sharing me with them and that she doesn't want to have to let anyone else have me. She also elaborated a bit on why she likes that I'm on the path to becoming a full fledged house husband. Basically when we eventually get the money to move out of the apartment and into an actual house she plans on having a pretty detailed security system installed so that she can watch me anywhere I am in the house from her phone. Make sure I'm doing okay and that no one has broken in and taken me. She actually kind of wishes she could just have me on a leash and be with her all the time when she's out. However that's not really practical because there are a number of buildings where you're not allowed to bring in dogs and I do technically classify as her bitch.

Pain and Humiliation are sexy

Hey guys remember the guy who derailed fuck quest twice in the span of an hour by pointing out some Palauan guy was dead and then next by saying he had a wife. Remember, he said his wife was going to beat him for doing that? I wonder who that could have been? In unrelated news Ching Chong beat me.

Oh reason I brought that up was because I talked to Ching Chong about making me wear a dress. Now at first I was kind of glad she hadn't me do it again, but then the more I thought about the more I realized I sort of liked it.Not sure if it was the dress or just her making me do it, but a part of me liked it. Anyways while thinking about I realized she probably got the idea from that Rose scene, you know the one. So during diner I talked to her about and said I wouldn't be completely averse to trying it again. Then she's all

So we're probably going to do that again. Although she told me I can't pass for shit, which was why she laughed when she first did it.

Oh I also brought up the idea of a gps tracker with her so she'd be able to find if I was ever taken. She without a beat said "yeah but the good ones cost at least $150 and they're still like the size of a flash drive so the kidnapper might be able to find them". I looked at her and asked how long she had thought about this.

She looked back at me with the questioning look like I shouldn't have been surprised at all, which I probably shouldn't have. Then she grabbed my cheeks and squeezed them saying my scouter was faulty and that this wasn't even her final form. And then we had fucks.

Did I surprise you? It's me.

So I was the one who posted in that Yandere thread on Thursday and Friday. Well during the day when I was playing vidya it made me think of things. Like how Ching Chong is like a flower, beautiful and delicate and how fucked up things could have been if she got attached to someone else. They could have been a normal-fag who's only interested in fucking dead fish vanilla bitches or worse they could have been a complete asshole. I mean yeah I talk a lot about how forceful she can be be but if you're dependent on someone who has few redeeming qualities you're life can be pretty fucked up.

I mean eventually she would have "corrected" the issue. She would have implemented a "final solution" to the problem. But that probably would have gotten her into trouble with the law. Not saying it was fate or destiny or anything like she thinks, but us getting together was the most optimal outcome for both parties.

Now for something less heavy though.

Me and Ching Chong saw X-Men day we rebooted the series. We enjoyed it. Though never of us understand why Magneto was wrong. I mean if he killed Nixon, Trask, and the other people in the bunker there things would have turned out pretty well. I mean who's going to authorize a new Sentinel program, Ford? Ford can't do shit, that's why Nixon choose him. Also that revelation that Kennedy was possibly a mutant.

Oh also I fell asleep Friday before Ching Chong came home, so I wasn't able to make her dinner. I woke up to her staring down at me with a bag in her hand. She told me she already ordered pizza but I had to put "this on". It was underwear, womens underwear, and a dress. She grabbed a cushion and situated herself on the floor. Told me to take off my clothes and do it now. I asked her if she was serious. She just nodded. So I took off the clothes I had on and started putting on the panties and dress. The panties were black and lacy. The dress was white and short just barely came down to my legs so I tried to stretch it down to give me a bit of modesty, mostly because I had a nervous boner. Ching Chong was laying on her back looking at me with this satisfied smirk, before she just started full on laughing

I asked her if she was done, she nodded said I could take the stuff off because I looked "ridiculous". Luckily for me she finds it too comical looking to be arousing. Then she handed me all the pepper packets and said that was my diner, and that I had to eat them.

Burning in the third degree

So Ching Chong was pretty excited about the Star Wars announcements on the fourth. She likes the new cast members and is excited about the new movie. But she's also really excited about the new Rebels TV show. Except for that kid with the fucking laser sling shot, the fuck is that shit? But on to why this a cute story, so she was showing me the characters and I had the audacity to ask "so which one is butt-cheeks"?

It did not end well.

Anyway moving on from that nerd shit Me and Ching Chong went swimming with some friends. It's more or less the first time we spent time with our familiar associates since the wedding and they had questions to ask. Questions like "are you making anon wear a skirt now" or more perverted inquires like "do you guys snuggle afterwards"? So Ching explained some of the things we do in detail. They were no longer curious.

But I ended up getting a really bad sunburn afterwards because I thought I could put sunblock on by myself. Well my back ended up turning lobster red. Now at first Ching Chong was slightly worried because skin cancer or some shit. But then she realized she had a new place to hit me that would cause even more pain than usual. So for the next couple days she would do that. But then the burn went away and my skin started to peel. That's when things really got weird. She peeled off the dead skin, and then she would eat it. Now I don't just mean she put in her mouth and swallowed it. I mean she actually used my dead skin as a substitute for lunch meat on sandwiches. I told her that was odd and probably not very hygienic. She just looked at me and shook her head when I told her it wasn't a good idea for her to eat skin sandwiches.

At least she hasn't tried to take my booty.

Oh hey it's story time again

So a bit of news first. Ching Chong's gotten a job. And not a shit job like me. A starting position with a local bank. She doesn't technically start for awhile but she's got it. So she'll be finishing up her bachelors, and doing this while occasionally taking one class or so every now and then for professional development. Meanwhile it looks like I'm going to be left with a fancy piece of paper and not many viable ways into the market. Ching Chong "suggested" that I be the house husband.

Tempted to do it. But I'll wait for a little bit until she rises up the ladder up a bit and we're more secure financially.

Now onto what it says on the tin. So me and Ching Chong have been reading the CYOA on 4chan known as Fuck Quest. The title is more or less straight forward. You're Alabaster Soliloquy and you're on a journey to fuck and/or rape your cute tomboy friend, your Christmas cake biology teacher, an android loli manufactured by the antagonist of the story, your tsundere mother, your excellent taste having sister, and some student council girl. However you are thwarted by shitty decision making on the part of your peers. For more details please refer to the picture below.

Anyway in the latest edition it starts off by you getting a prostate massage from your mother. Which made Ching Chong, ask questions. Lewd questions. She said she wasn't going to do anything though and I don't think I have to worry about her breaking and entering. Something about it reminding her too much of clinics and hospitals and stuff.

Anyway other cuter story. Okay so I was talking to Ching Chong and she revealed something to me. You remember that period of time I've talked about before? The one after I met her, but before we moved in together? Yeah that stalking period. Well anyway she would follow me around and observe me. She also used her phone to take pictures and record videos of me. Well one day someone noticed her. So what did she do? Well first she started crying, and then she freaked out and ran away.

I'm guessing they didn't report anything to the campus or anything. But it actually freaked Ching Chong a bit that she actually stopped following me for a bit. While she was telling me this she made great effort to point out how fearful she was that people might be able to stop her from "claiming" me. So since we were on the topic I asked her how she figured out where I lived. She stopped for a second before saying, "so you did get them" and started playing with her hair. So I asked her but how did she learn where I lived in the first place. She just kept playing with her hair and said "it's good you got them". So I rolled my head over in her lap and went to sleep.

SURGEON GENERAL'S WARNING: May cause heart disease

So I decided to make a post sooner than expected.

Let's see. Well we saw Captain America and the Winter Soldier. I have to say it's taken the spot of my favorite marvel movie. That moment Cap and Widow are in the basement of the old shield base reactivating the old ass computers. That was good.

Anyways cute shit, well after the movie I leaned over to her, put my mouth by her ear and whispered seductively "Hail Hyrda". She punched me in the arm and called me an idiot. "But I'm your idiot right"?

"Yep".

Oh also she lost track of me in the mall when we were shopping.  I was carrying stuff walking behind her when we walked by a game stop and I noticed they had Xbox ones in the front display. I stopped to glare menacingly at them. Well she kept on walking, not noticing I had decided to try and convey my anger to sub-par home heating systems.

The crowd was fairly large and when she turned around to notice I wasn't behind her the throngs of people hid me from her sight. It probably didn't help that she couldn't see over the tops of people's heads like I can either. So she started freaking out wondering where I had gone. Her head snapping back and forth around. Frantically trying to find me among the multitudes of humans.

When I came up beside her she turned and grabbed in pincer hug. She was worried that someone had kidnapped me and stolen me away from her. I reassured her saying that "no one would try and snatch me in a public place like this". She was silent for a long while, her brow furrowed.

......

"I would"


So yeah, short but....eh.

I am now married to a real life rapist

Well, shit, yeah.

In my defense we've been busy, very busy.

Weddings are complicated and then there was the whole foreign paper work thing with immigration. Anyways though yeah we're married now, but before I talk about that and the wedding I'm going to talk about some things that happened before.

Okay so Ching Chong choose that girl who likes playing patty cake with her as her maid of honor. Well she wanted to throw Ching Chong a bachelorete party and had this whole night of debauchery planned out. However when they got to what was to be their first stop of the night Ching Chong realized what was happening. There were too many people for her to assault so she did the only rational thing. Cry

So they had to call me to pick her up. She kept it up until I drove off with her back home. Once we were far enough away from them she stopped crying immediately and told me to head to the nearest IHOP. So yeah, pancakes>strippers. Could have gone much worse, she could have actually tried to hurt them.

Anyway I think I told you Ching Chong's mother was coming for the wedding. Well she decided to stay with us for about a week, because fuck paying for a hotel when you can leach off family. So we pick her up from the airport holding a sign in Korean. First thing she did when she us was look up at me. She's at best an inch or two taller than Ching Chong. Then she asked if my hair was real. Well she asked Ching Chong if it was real because I can't follow lunar talk. But yeah she initially didn't think it was my natural hair color. Ching Chong told her it was though, because I'm not allowed to dye my hair. So we drive home with her luggage, occasionly pointing out at things and saying information tourists like to hear. Now I thought we might not be able to have sex because she'd be able to hear us. Ching Chong presented a solution to this problem, simply don't give a fuck.

So that night we turned on the Betty Davis and started going at it.

Pretty sure she heard everything. Not sure how much she understood but it's hard to misunderstand this kind of thing.

Anyways though we decided to write our own views. Now when Ching Chong showed me her first draft, all it had written on it was"Anon belongs to me, he is mine" then it just had "mine" written over and over again. I told her that this was not the best thing for a ceremony. After she hit for me a bit and I didn't change my mind she deiced to reluctantly agree. The marriage actually went off without a hitch. Though when by one of the patrons if we were going to "consummate" the union. Well her affirmative answer did creep them out.

So now flood the comment section with questions. I'll answer them, eventually.

I woke up early to make this post

So I was suppose to post this on Friday or something like that, but eh. I'm going to go ahead and recap something that happened over Thanksgiving.

So me and Ching Chong are at my parents house talking to the rest of the family. And my niece, you know the one who doesn't like me, well she makes a mean spirited joke about I tend to prefer to eat with my hands. She set it up pretty well, but the punch line was that I was an idiot savage who would eat fondue with his hands. Now Ching Chong didn't say anything right then, but I could feel her hand tighten around mine in anger and for a moment I saw a flicker of malice in those eyes. But it passed and she didn't do anything. No trying to punch my niece's skull out of her head or cursing her out. I thought okay maybe she's just trying to be civil and hold her rage back. Well later during the day she asked me to follow her and pulled me along to where my niece was and cornered her away from everybody. Then she let out.

Of course I should probably clarify that it wasn't as bad as the picture I'm using might make you think. She basically grabbed her by the shoulder and whispered threatened that I was her property and that when she made fun of me she was making fun of her, by extension. Then asked if she understood and called her a faggot. Which may have lessened the impact of the threat, but I think my niece got the message. Suffice to say I was trying not to laugh the entire time.

Now for a cute story. So we were watching Terminator and it came to that scene where Arnold goes into the club to go look for Sarah. Well you know that song playing in the background? I started singing along to it and Ching Chong gave me this dirty look and told me to stop. She didn't like the song I guess. So I shut up and we continued watching the movie. Then when we got to part where the truck explodes and the terminator's skin is now completly removed showing his metal skeleton I just broke out singing "She's got him burning, she's got him burning, in the third degreee"! Ching Chong was not amused, grabbed the pillow beside her and began hitting me with it.

I thought it was cute, anyways.

I'll make another blog post, when ever I get around to it. We're not really doing anything this holiday season because money is going to the wedding. Right now we've just been watching Tenchi Muyo and Game of Thrones mostly. Oh and of course "that".

Long time no post

Wow it's been quiet a while. To be fair me and Ching Chong were busy, but I really went for a long time without posting. I'll try and update more often in the future, hopefully, maybe, possibly.

So I think I posted in one of those yandere threads on /R9K/ that Ching Chong got me a collar. She did, only it wasn't a regular collar. It was a dog collar, with a name tag and address. Although she bought me another collar later when she found out she wouldn't be able to walk me around with a leash outside. So there's that.

However besides from general wedding planning stuff there was one other event that happened. Another girl was ogling me. Or at least she did in Ching Chong's mind. I don't know because I don't really pay attention to other women.....yeah that's why.

Anyways we were in the canned foods aisle at a local grocery store. I was bending down to pick up some canned chiles when suddenly Ching Chong steps in front of my ass. "This isn't a show bitch, he's mine" she said to a highly disturbed shopper. I turn around to see what's up and Ching Chong is giving this look of hatred and aiming to throw a soup can at some blondish woman, maybe in her early thirties or late twenties. Anyway the woman turns three hundred and sixty degrees and starts backing away, fear apparent in her eyes. Ching Chong then puts down her bitch stoning soup can back in the cart and tells me let's go. Of course the rest of the time there at the store she periodically feels me up. Anyways when I get home I ask her what the fuck happened. I might have asked right after the incident, but I know better than that.

So once she explained the situation to me I asked if she thought it was really necessary to threaten that woman. She started giggling and saying, "but Anon it's a sin to covet your neighbors property". I replied that it was also considered a sin to have pre-marital sex. She said "it doesn't count when it's your property", and then started giggling again. Then she told me prepare for my punishment for talking back. All in all a good day.

The state of nature is war, so let's tear up this club.

This month has been pretty fascinating. So we told Ching Chong's mother about us and stuff. Well first we had to get her to get Skype and teach her how to make a video call. Anyways she looked at the screen just expecting to see Ching Chong and she saw me sitting right next to her daughter. I tried to say "Hi I'm your daughter's fiance" in Korean, like Ching Chong taught me too, but I fucked that up. She had no idea what I said. So Ching Chong started to explain, and she just sat there listening, just siting there. Then, after Ching Chong was done she began to interrogate me. Well technically Ching Chong translated why she asked questions. I think I figured out which side of the family Ching Chong's temper comes from.

She asked a lot of questions obviously. Who the hell was I. What did I think gave me the right to marry her daughter, ect. However after awhile Ching Chong took over for answering for me, saying that I was her property, that she was going to have me, explaining the uh power dynamics of the relationship. However Ching Chong went a little bit further then that, she also explained the uh....sexual....dynamics. Her mother was pretty shocked by that.

I think her mom took it pretty well all things considered. Now I know you're asking "Anon why would Ching Chong explain her sexual ownership of you to her mother?" Well I asked her the same thing later. She said it was to reinforce the point that she was the one in charge of the relationship. I'm not sure if it was the best way to make her point, but it worked. Her mom no longer thought I was taking advantage of her or pressuring her. Then Ching Chong went further and demanded that she give us her blessing. Her mother was caught off guard by this, but Ching Chong was pretty forceful. Her mother seemed kind of scared of her, like she she thought Ching Chong would come through and beat her up. Ching Chong then pretty much ended the call with her telling her mom that she was going to be the one to tell her father about us cause she didn't want to deal with his "retarded ass".

I don't know how that's going on her end. I mean she called a few times. Actually said a few sentences in broken English to me. One of them was asking if I would be wearing a dress at the wedding. That was, well. Ching Chong said I wouldn't be though because I'm too "tall looking" for dresses. Speaking of too tall.

So you know how it's common for the bride and groom to dance first at the reception. Well even though the wedding isn't until March she wants to learn how to dance with me now. She's not that good at dancing and we've never really slow danced or anything before so it was different. By different I mean really awkward due to height differences. So she put on some heels to try and giver herself a boost. Now I told her dancing with heels was a bad idea. But she didn't want to listen. So she nearly fell a couple of times and I got my toes stepped on. So yeah we'll never be able to suddenly break into song and dance and summon 1960's spider-man with our camp it looks like. I just wonder when this bruise on my big toe is going to go away.

It's occurring!

Long time no see huh. So I guess I have some explaining to do. Well some of your guys were on the right track with the rape dungeon line of though. Although it was more just lots of rough sexual acts with little concern for my consent. What's the difference you ask? Well I was allowed to go outside. But things were still very busy.

However there was something even more important that was going on behind the scenes. That I didn't expect. So you remember from my last post that Ching Chong got that call from an old friend, and she talked about me. Well she one thing she talked was a certain plan she had for me. She only put it into action about a week ago though. She had to work up a bit of courage to do it. No, I'm not talking about butt sex. I know you're disappointed. But wait for a moment and let me tell you my story.

So I come home to Ching Chong sitting at the kitchen table fidgeting with something, something that she immediately hide from me upon coming in. Now at first I thought it was just a birthday present that she had bought early or something. Well anyways afterwards things we're fairly normal the usual routine.

However later that night she sat me down on the couch and told me she wanted to talk about something. She was fairly apprehensive, struggling to find her words and making weird breathing noises. I thought she was going to have a panic attack. And then she blurted it out.

I was a bit taken back. Not just by the contents of the message but also because she yelled it at me like some kind of ancient war cry. Then I hear yes, it took me a moment to realize it was I who said it. There was a good five minutes of rejoicing followed by some awkward silence as we figured out to do next. Ching Chong was able to figure out something to do.

Now I've told my family and friends and we're making plans to have it be done in about eight months on or close to her birthday. Although we're still talking about what kind of ceremony we want and where we want it. Okay well mostly my family and friends are just throwing suggestions and ideas at us. But yeah ceremony is still in the planning stages. However we still haven't told her parents yet, in fact as you know they still don't even know about us. So we're trying to come up with a way to tell them that doesn't cause them to disown Ching Chong. We might have more a bit more luck with her mom, but I'm there's going to be some sort of well reactionary reaction from her father. Now before any of you ask, no, you're not invited. I don't trust you guys not to do something foolish or lewd.

Not sure when I'll make another full post but I'll try to respond to the comments you're going to make.

Summer begins

Well exams are over, and we also saw Iron man 3. It was pretty good. Not muh Mandarin but still enjoyable.  I liked that they had Tony doing awesome things outside of his suit. But that's not what you come here to read right?

You're here to read cute stories about Ching Chong right?

Well when she was studying for one of her exams on her bed and she called me in for help on something. But once I got in there I could tell nothing scholastic would going on.

Now at first I thought she just wanted me to draw her like one of my french girls. But instead she told me to massage her feet. I figured why not and started to massage her feet. Things were going pretty normally. Then she told me to use my tongue. I paused, she said it would make it feel better. Her feet were clean so I agreed. Then after awhile I noticed she moved one of her hands down south and was making familiar noises. I paused to ask her if she was really doing that. However as soon as I stopped she turned to look at me and said "I didn't say to stop". I then continued until she was satisfied. Apparently this is going to be a thing.

Now for a less lewd story.

So we got a phone call and I answered it. The voice on the other end replied back hesitantly in unsure English asking if Ching Chong was there. I handed her the phone and soon enough she was talking in Korean. In a pretty excited manner too. Almost seemed like she was bragging about something. Anyway she eventually ended the call. Apparently an old friend back from Korea discovered her number and called to see how she was doing in America. So I straight out asked her, "Did you talk about me by chance"? Chin Chong blushed nervously and twiddled her fingers before saying "I told her I found you here, and that you're pretty and cute".

She then blushed more and said "I told some other things too". I tired to get her to elaborate but she just shook her head while blushing.

Oh someone also asked in one of the comment sections about what Ching Chong thought about EA being in charge of future Star Wars games. She's pretty ambivalent about it, she's just happy we'll be getting new Star Wars games. I'm actually the one who's more disappointed  Mostly because we'll never get a new Rogue Squadron game and we're never going to be able to save Sev.

purple and green-daily dose

Me and Ching Chong have been doing pretty good.

She's doing pretty well with her treatment. Doing some biofeedback stuff. Her therapist had her hooked up to this Electromyogram device to test to see measure her muscle tension to see how stressed she was. I was out in the waiting room, asleep actually. Anyway after Ching Chong got done with her appointment she came back to the waiting room and grabbed hold of my arm and started leaving, not knowing I was asleep. So I was pulled out of the chair I was sitting in as well as my slumber all pretty quickly when I hit the ground. Gave me a bit of a start waking up on the floor with what eventually become a bruise on my forehead..

She was quite flustered about the whole thing. Insisted on being the one to drive us home and putting neosporyin on it. I wanted to just tell her I was fine, but she can be stubborn about such things.

St. Patrick's day was a bit different this year. We didn't go out drinking but suffice to say there was a green substance present as we celebrated the expulsion of the druids from Ireland by some Englishman. Also since we were with friends we got to play a couple fun games, like this wacky thing happens in your life how do you respond. More specifically Ching Chong got asked what she would do if me and her switched bodies. Now she was quite baked at this point, so her response was not exactly intelligible.

The only word she got out between her bouts of laughter was dicks. The next day when I asked her about that she just blushed and said to stop being "lewd". I think she was saying she would have fapped, but I can't be sure.

Then there was he Birthday. I took her out to a restaurant, specialized in Sonoran cuisine. I kind of played a mean trick on her because I told the hostess to tell the waiter to only take our orders in Spanish. Now while skill in the language isn't the best, Ching Chong can't speak it at all. So when the waiter came to our table and asked us ¿Quieres algo de beber? Well Ching Chong was confused and just try to point to things on the menu. I thought it was pretty hilarious. She didn't find it as funny as I did. I got her a present, A lego TIE-fighter, she likes it. Actually picks it off the shelf and flies it around making flying and laser noises. However before the night was over she made sure I was punished for my joke.

She eventually caught me and after the punishment my wrists were pretty chaffed and there were a number of new bite marks on my body.

Easter I got her some candy and she more or less went on a binge with it. Actually ate my chocolate bunny. She vomited though, so I guess that makes it okay.

April fools was, well interesting. I didn't play a joke on Ching Chong because I was afraid she'd punish me for it. Ching Chong on the other hand though. Well, that was a different story.

She told me she was going to fuck me in the ass and gave a detailed and explicit explanation of what she would do to it and what would happen to my ass. I'll just sum it up with one line she said.

"The red magma that is your blood will erupt from the brown earth inside your asshole as I plunge into you again and again". Granted it was a joke but I've never been so scared for my butt before.

Oh ye of little faith

It's been over a month and a half since I've last posted and a number of things have happened. First off you probably want to know what going on with Ching Chong's psyche. She is doing therapy as well as taking anti-depressants. Now she didn't want to go on the anti-depressants but both her therapist and psychiatrist recommended taking it in conjunction with her therapy as they statistically work better together than apart. Her therapy is going well, she likes her therapist, and says they get along well. Her medication was a bit of a different story though. I had to pretty much had to convince her daily to take the medication. The main reason why she didn't want to take her medication was because it can cause sexual dysfunction. Things like difficulty becoming aroused, lack of interest in sex, and anorgasmia (trouble achieving orgasm). None of these things occurred though. Especially not the lack of interest in sex. 

So she's taking her medication without  needing me to giver her a speech about it. She seems to be responding to treatment well enough, she'll still have some moments and behaviors but they're not as frequent. 

Anyways how about a valentines day story? So Valentines day we decided to stay home and watch some movies. Not RomComs though, no, just no. We marathoned Tenchi Universe. Ching Chong thought Sasami was best girl. She also called Tenchi a "spineless dummy", personally I prefer the term faggot, but it works. Anyways we ate veggie pizza and spicy buffalo wings. I also made cookies, they were peanut butter. Then later that night we did 'that'. 

Anyways about a week ago Ching Chong did actually socialize with someone besides me. Remember that girl Ching Chong played patty cake with? Well I told her it would be nice if she and Ching Chong had a girl's day out. She liked the idea, Ching Chong was a bit more reserved though. 

But they had a pretty fun day. They bought some new clothers, got their nails done, their hair did, got a pap smear, ate some ice cream, got high, and other girl things. So yeah, she has a friend now technically. 

Another post

Yeah it's been awhile since I posted, but I have good reasons for that. But first, one anon asked me to tell the story of the first time me and Ching Chond had intercourse. It was a sweltering July day and we had gotten home from seeing Captain America. Now me and Ching Chong had been "going out" or "dating" for a bit. But we didn't really act like we were in a relationship, partially because I was a faggot and was slightly disturbed by Ching Chong's activities.

However that day changed things. We were on the couch when Ching Chong came over to me and I soon landed on the floor with an audible pomf =3. Compared to how she was now with sex Ching Chong was nervous, which is understandable considering it was her first time. But things went well. Yeah I know it's short.

Anyways the reason I didn't write another post earlier is because Ching Chong was having a bit of a problem. She had a bit of depression and a body image crisis. Nothing like anorexia or bulimia  no, she just thought her she was ugly looking, or that all other women were much prettier than her. She'd look at her self in the mirror constantly, look for wrinkles or lines, comb her hair obsessively, be worried about her eyes, and spend time online looking for ways to make her breasts bigger. Then she also would constantly compare herself with other women and rank her self lower than them.

It started off small but quickly grew. I was worried about her and told her it might be good for her to see a psychologist or a therapist. She didn't want to do that though. I don't think she likes the thought of being in therapy on using anti-depressants. I kept pushing her seeing as she just kept getting worse and she eventually relented. We went to see her physician and he asked her a number of questions and took some measurements  He diagnosed her with depression and made her an appointment with a psychologist and a psychiatrist for further diagnosis. He thinks she might have body dysmorphic disorder but wants to have other take a better look at it. So she's going to go see those two and hopefully they'll be able to figure out why she's acting like this.

Now I should clarify it's not that she spends every second of the day moping about her body, I can still get her to smile and laugh but there are just some things that set her off. She hasn't tried to harm herself or anything so that's good, but there are just some times during the days when she's just down.

Not sure when I'll be making another post.

Do they live among us?

Okay it's been nearly a month since I posted I know. But I have a good excuse for that. Me and Ching Chong were spending a lot of time doing really fun things.

We went to see the Hobbit. That was a good movie. I personally think it was better than the Lord of the Rings films. Mostly because Frodo is an anooying shit why Bilbo is a pretty cool guy. Rises to the occasion even though he afraids of everything. Ching Chong's favorite character was Radagast the brown, because he was humorous and silly, also she had trouble remembering the dwarfs names. Which is understandable cause there's a lot of them. But yeah 9/10 film will buy when it comes out on video.

Now how was our Christmas you ask? Pretty good. I got Ching Chong the entire Republic Commando book series. She was pretty pleased with that. I also got her some socks with toe space things on them. You know, the kind that are almost like gloves for your feet. Yeah those. She liked those as well. Ching Chong got me a a necklace. I don't think I've gotten jewelry as a gift before. But it's nice. It looks kind of like a Ying Yang symbol but it's split into three sections and all the fields are black. The lines are silver in color and instead of dots it has holes. I think it's a Buddhist symbol or something. I didn't really ask her what it meant because when she was giving it to me she was blushing and nervous. She also got the last Star Fighter, which is a pretty cool movie if you haven't seen it. And of course there was also the other things we did on Christmas day.

I couldn't tell whether she was taking "vengeance" on me. Because she was rougher than usual, or seemed that way. But maybe she was not.

Anyways we also went to a New Years party. Shit got hard core. Someone put some kind of psychedelic hallucinogen in the drinks, we're not sure who did it, we all want to beat up the person who did though. Luckily I had decided to be the designated driver so I didn't drink anything. Ching Chong was not so lucky though. At first she was just dizzy and was seeing spots and "bendy lights". So I took her home early. She was okay once I got her to sit down. Although she couldn't really focus to well on my voice while I was trying to talk to her and got distracted easily. Then she thought my voice was coming from the little Christmas tree we had yet to put away.

Could have been worse though, could have been much worse.

Oh also Ching and I recently started watching this one tv series that use to air on animal planet. Called the lost tapes. They're all pretty spooky. Anyways we were watching the Bigfoot episode. And Bigfoot was following this park ranger lady while she was investigating bear poaching. Then the poacher showed up and started to harass her, and threaten her. He was proably going to violate her, but then Bigfoot showed up and killed him for messing with his waifu. Ching Chong replied that Bigfoot's actions were justified and she'd do the same. So you know there's that.

Fever. All day and all night

We take off for my parents home and get there okay day before thanksgiving. Things are going good talking to parents just telling them how things are going getting settled in for the weekend exc. Well anyways somehow Ching Chong brings up sleeping accommodations  Now you may or may not remember that last year Ching Chong and I slept in different rooms. She in my old room, and me on the couch in the living room. But things have changed from last year, in that Ching Chong has become more, shall we say accustomed to sharing the same bed as me. Now my mother is a fairly religious woman, and thus like most LDS woman doesn't want their sons having sex before marriage and usually look down on cohabitation before marriage. Now my mother hasn't voiced any criticism of us living together but she didn't want us sleeping in the same bed while under her roof because of reasons. Well Ching Chong wasn't up for that this year. Not because she wanted to engage in sexual congress, well she might have, but that wasn't the desire she was acting on. No she just wanted to sleep in the same bed as me. So she begged my mother to share the bed with me. Now by beg I mean actual begging, with the puppy eyes and everything.

Suffice to say my mother could not say no.

Other than that Thanksgiving was relatevely uneventful. We saw the film Lincoln. It was pretty great. The Union forever, Hurrah boys, hurrah! Down with the traitor, up with the star! America fuck yeah! Eh moving on from my love for the Union.

We came home and things were pretty calm. At least for awhile. You see Ching Chong decided to get revenge for that tickle session I performed on her. I was just laying on the couch when all of the sudden Ching Chong sits on my butt and grabs my feet. Then she starts tickling them with her tongue. I try to reach back to pull her away but I can't get a good grip on her. So I do the only thing I can think of. I yell out "No, not in my foot pussy". This only egged her on though as she attempted to bring me to climax by stimulation of my feet. It didn't work, but not for lack of trying. I was only able to get her to relent by telling her that if she let me go we would do something really fun. She accepted my term, not knowing what they actually entailed.

I'm not sure when she's going to extract revenge for that.

I think Ching Chong still has some lasting regret that she wasn't my first though. Why do you ask this? Because she's shown me some short stories she's been writing. And well, pic related.

They're all crime stories about women being raped, killed, tortured, maimed, exc. And the physical descriptions of them tend to match those of my ex's. Though she hasn't contacted them or tried to locate them or anything. So as long as she just keeps this on paper it's an acceptable outlet. No I'm not going to post them.

You will never get to be a Wookiee Sith lord.

Hey everyone sorry it's been awhile since I updated but Ching Chong's been pretty energetic because she's excited we're heading to my family's house for thanksgiving this year again.

Let's see where to start?

Oh I know Ching Chong and I have been watching Walking Dead again. We're both pretty happy Lori died, she was dragging the rest of the group down. Sad that T-Dog died, but I guess they can only have one black guy at a time. Also Andrea is a slutty bitch whore in Ching Chongs opinion, I'm inclined to agree. Sword girl is pretty cool though, though her swordsmanship seems unrealistic. Glen and Maggie are probably gonna get tortured. Speaking of torture though......

So I'm laying on the couch after getting home from work just relaxing. Then out of nowhere Ching Chong climbs on top of me and starts tickling my ribs. I laugh while trying to push her hands away to get free but she's determined. Realizing I won't be able to escape her I start begging for her to stop in between involuntary chuckles. Ching Chong says she'll let me go if I offer her my body. No in a position to negotiate for anything I concede to her demands. Alas she begins her tickle assault on me again mid-coitus, all the while saying that I'll be punished if I ejaculate before she wishes.

Not sure if cute or lude but I thought I'd share it.

Anyways after the deed is done we cuddle with each other for awhile. Eventually Ching Chong looks me in the face and bluntly asks if she's "weird". I ask here what she's talking about and she says sometimes she wonders if I'd prefer her if she was in her words "More like other girls, and less bothersome". It was this time I tossed her on her back and said "How's this for bothersome" as I started my own tickle torture session. Which caused he to swear vengeance upon me. It was fun.

Changing subjects to things that aren't fun though. Ching Chong downloaded the S.S. Tortanic. Her reasoning was that it was free to play and it was Star Wars. The graphics are pretty low save for the cut scenes which is where I suspect most of the budget went to, well that and the purchase of child sex slaves. Anyway the gameplay is fairly restricted if you don't want to pay. Now one thing people like to say is that TOR has the most VA's and spoken lines of any game or something. Now while that is true some of the dialogue is a tad cliched in certain istances. Giving me this kind of image.

I'll post sometime next week regarding our Thanks Giving day stuff. In the meantime complain about how it's bullshit you can't play as a species that isn't a human re-color.

My Mother is 2spooky

Okay guys I've got a number of things to write about so bare with me.

Okay first up let's go with Ching Chong's reaction to the news of Disney buying Lucasarts and the announcement of a new Star Wars trilogy. Okay so Ching Chong was the first one to find out. Her reaction was pretty energetic. She was just throwing out words and happy sounds in both Korean and English and I couldn't understand what she was saying. I actually thought she was going to rape me.

But then she calmed down a bit and said "New Star Wars" while pulling me over to her computer and pointing at the screen which was displaying a news article detailing the deal. My response was bueno. But before you ask what me or Ching Ching think the movie is going to be about I can already tell you it's not going to be the Thrawn trilogy made into a film, or any EU work adapted for the big screen. Why? Because the execs have said it's going to be an original (whatever that means in film nowadays) story that takes place something like forty to two hundred years after Return of the Jedi. Now here's our respective wishlists for the new films.

Mine:
Has a main character
Said character is a fish out of water who's new to the larger galaxy so the film explains shit to the audience.
Character may or may not be force user, but don't have them be a space messiah. Or at least explain what the fucking prophecy means.
Pick a tone and stick with it. No going from horrible murder to slapstick comedy in the next scene.
Get a tolerable director, screenwriter, ect.

Ching Chong's wishlist
No complex intergalactic space politics
Character's motivations are clear and understandable. Cute girls do cute things because they're cute, not because their mind is being controlled by a sith lord to fulfill some weird convoluted plan.
Characters show emotions and don't speak like droids.
Don't make the main character part of the Skywalker/Solo clan
Less sitting and talking more running and shooting
No super weapons

Now moving on from that I'll explain what we did for Halloween.

Well I took the day off of work because I could. Now we didn't hand out candy this time because only a few people came this year so we didn't see the point. Now because Halloween was on a weekday most of my friends couldn't really do anything so we stayed home and watched spooky movies. We watched Dark Water, Poltergeist, and the Sixth Sense. Dark Water didn't really scare her that much, but Poltergeist did for whatever reason. Ever that or she just wanted to wrap herself around me. Hard to tell sometimes. Anyways she thought that the kid in the sixth sense was a demon because he could see ghosts and that was the twist. When the actual twist became apparent she became confused. She wanted to know how he got past the big ass church doors if he's a ghost. Other than that Halloween was pretty uneventful  I do have some cute stories for you guys though.

So the nights are getting a bit colder around here and me and Ching Chong we're in bed and she was saying she was cold and that she wanted me to heat. So purposely being dense I told her I'd get an extra blanket. This caused her to grab my arm as I got up. And the way she looked at me I knew this was only going to end one way.

Well maybe not cute so much as borderline rape, but eh.

This one is cute though. So Ching Chong was making diner and we've been getting a number of political robo calls for the past couple weeks because the election is coming up. Ching Chong finds these to be fairly annoying, especially since quite a large number of them are anti-abortion ads. Now I don't think I need to explain to you how Ching Chong feels about that subject. So she's gotten two calls already today, the last one not too long ago. Well the phone rings and she quickly picks it up without even looking at the caller ID and starts yelling that if they call again she'll they "Rip a baby out of someone's womb and shove it up their asshole". Well it wasn't a recorded message on the phone. No. It was my mother. She had called to ask if we were still planning on coming over there to have Thanksgiving with the rest of my family. A few seconds after Ching yelled that her face turned from an expression of rage to one of a deer caught in the headlights.

She then started to stutter apologies before handing the phone to me. I picked up the phone and tried not to laugh as Ching Chong looked down at her feet in shame. So while trying to hold in chuckles I explained the situation to my mother. She was more confused than angry. Though she did tell me that she expected better behavior from her "future daughter in-law". Then I was the one stuttering with the surprised look on my face as my mother laughed across the phone line. She told me she was just joking but I'm not sure I believe her.

No I didn't tell Ching Chong about the daughter in law comment.