Did I surprise you? It's me.

So I was the one who posted in that Yandere thread on Thursday and Friday. Well during the day when I was playing vidya it made me think of things. Like how Ching Chong is like a flower, beautiful and delicate and how fucked up things could have been if she got attached to someone else. They could have been a normal-fag who's only interested in fucking dead fish vanilla bitches or worse they could have been a complete asshole. I mean yeah I talk a lot about how forceful she can be be but if you're dependent on someone who has few redeeming qualities you're life can be pretty fucked up.

I mean eventually she would have "corrected" the issue. She would have implemented a "final solution" to the problem. But that probably would have gotten her into trouble with the law. Not saying it was fate or destiny or anything like she thinks, but us getting together was the most optimal outcome for both parties.

Now for something less heavy though.

Me and Ching Chong saw X-Men day we rebooted the series. We enjoyed it. Though never of us understand why Magneto was wrong. I mean if he killed Nixon, Trask, and the other people in the bunker there things would have turned out pretty well. I mean who's going to authorize a new Sentinel program, Ford? Ford can't do shit, that's why Nixon choose him. Also that revelation that Kennedy was possibly a mutant.

Oh also I fell asleep Friday before Ching Chong came home, so I wasn't able to make her dinner. I woke up to her staring down at me with a bag in her hand. She told me she already ordered pizza but I had to put "this on". It was underwear, womens underwear, and a dress. She grabbed a cushion and situated herself on the floor. Told me to take off my clothes and do it now. I asked her if she was serious. She just nodded. So I took off the clothes I had on and started putting on the panties and dress. The panties were black and lacy. The dress was white and short just barely came down to my legs so I tried to stretch it down to give me a bit of modesty, mostly because I had a nervous boner. Ching Chong was laying on her back looking at me with this satisfied smirk, before she just started full on laughing

I asked her if she was done, she nodded said I could take the stuff off because I looked "ridiculous". Luckily for me she finds it too comical looking to be arousing. Then she handed me all the pepper packets and said that was my diner, and that I had to eat them.

Burning in the third degree

So Ching Chong was pretty excited about the Star Wars announcements on the fourth. She likes the new cast members and is excited about the new movie. But she's also really excited about the new Rebels TV show. Except for that kid with the fucking laser sling shot, the fuck is that shit? But on to why this a cute story, so she was showing me the characters and I had the audacity to ask "so which one is butt-cheeks"?

It did not end well.

Anyway moving on from that nerd shit Me and Ching Chong went swimming with some friends. It's more or less the first time we spent time with our familiar associates since the wedding and they had questions to ask. Questions like "are you making anon wear a skirt now" or more perverted inquires like "do you guys snuggle afterwards"? So Ching explained some of the things we do in detail. They were no longer curious.

But I ended up getting a really bad sunburn afterwards because I thought I could put sunblock on by myself. Well my back ended up turning lobster red. Now at first Ching Chong was slightly worried because skin cancer or some shit. But then she realized she had a new place to hit me that would cause even more pain than usual. So for the next couple days she would do that. But then the burn went away and my skin started to peel. That's when things really got weird. She peeled off the dead skin, and then she would eat it. Now I don't just mean she put in her mouth and swallowed it. I mean she actually used my dead skin as a substitute for lunch meat on sandwiches. I told her that was odd and probably not very hygienic. She just looked at me and shook her head when I told her it wasn't a good idea for her to eat skin sandwiches.

At least she hasn't tried to take my booty.

Oh hey it's story time again

So a bit of news first. Ching Chong's gotten a job. And not a shit job like me. A starting position with a local bank. She doesn't technically start for awhile but she's got it. So she'll be finishing up her bachelors, and doing this while occasionally taking one class or so every now and then for professional development. Meanwhile it looks like I'm going to be left with a fancy piece of paper and not many viable ways into the market. Ching Chong "suggested" that I be the house husband.

Tempted to do it. But I'll wait for a little bit until she rises up the ladder up a bit and we're more secure financially.

Now onto what it says on the tin. So me and Ching Chong have been reading the CYOA on 4chan known as Fuck Quest. The title is more or less straight forward. You're Alabaster Soliloquy and you're on a journey to fuck and/or rape your cute tomboy friend, your Christmas cake biology teacher, an android loli manufactured by the antagonist of the story, your tsundere mother, your excellent taste having sister, and some student council girl. However you are thwarted by shitty decision making on the part of your peers. For more details please refer to the picture below.

Anyway in the latest edition it starts off by you getting a prostate massage from your mother. Which made Ching Chong, ask questions. Lewd questions. She said she wasn't going to do anything though and I don't think I have to worry about her breaking and entering. Something about it reminding her too much of clinics and hospitals and stuff.

Anyway other cuter story. Okay so I was talking to Ching Chong and she revealed something to me. You remember that period of time I've talked about before? The one after I met her, but before we moved in together? Yeah that stalking period. Well anyway she would follow me around and observe me. She also used her phone to take pictures and record videos of me. Well one day someone noticed her. So what did she do? Well first she started crying, and then she freaked out and ran away.

I'm guessing they didn't report anything to the campus or anything. But it actually freaked Ching Chong a bit that she actually stopped following me for a bit. While she was telling me this she made great effort to point out how fearful she was that people might be able to stop her from "claiming" me. So since we were on the topic I asked her how she figured out where I lived. She stopped for a second before saying, "so you did get them" and started playing with her hair. So I asked her but how did she learn where I lived in the first place. She just kept playing with her hair and said "it's good you got them". So I rolled my head over in her lap and went to sleep.

SURGEON GENERAL'S WARNING: May cause heart disease

So I decided to make a post sooner than expected.

Let's see. Well we saw Captain America and the Winter Soldier. I have to say it's taken the spot of my favorite marvel movie. That moment Cap and Widow are in the basement of the old shield base reactivating the old ass computers. That was good.

Anyways cute shit, well after the movie I leaned over to her, put my mouth by her ear and whispered seductively "Hail Hyrda". She punched me in the arm and called me an idiot. "But I'm your idiot right"?

"Yep".

Oh also she lost track of me in the mall when we were shopping.  I was carrying stuff walking behind her when we walked by a game stop and I noticed they had Xbox ones in the front display. I stopped to glare menacingly at them. Well she kept on walking, not noticing I had decided to try and convey my anger to sub-par home heating systems.

The crowd was fairly large and when she turned around to notice I wasn't behind her the throngs of people hid me from her sight. It probably didn't help that she couldn't see over the tops of people's heads like I can either. So she started freaking out wondering where I had gone. Her head snapping back and forth around. Frantically trying to find me among the multitudes of humans.

When I came up beside her she turned and grabbed in pincer hug. She was worried that someone had kidnapped me and stolen me away from her. I reassured her saying that "no one would try and snatch me in a public place like this". She was silent for a long while, her brow furrowed.

......

"I would"


So yeah, short but....eh.

I am now married to a real life rapist

Well, shit, yeah.

In my defense we've been busy, very busy.

Weddings are complicated and then there was the whole foreign paper work thing with immigration. Anyways though yeah we're married now, but before I talk about that and the wedding I'm going to talk about some things that happened before.

Okay so Ching Chong choose that girl who likes playing patty cake with her as her maid of honor. Well she wanted to throw Ching Chong a bachelorete party and had this whole night of debauchery planned out. However when they got to what was to be their first stop of the night Ching Chong realized what was happening. There were too many people for her to assault so she did the only rational thing. Cry

So they had to call me to pick her up. She kept it up until I drove off with her back home. Once we were far enough away from them she stopped crying immediately and told me to head to the nearest IHOP. So yeah, pancakes>strippers. Could have gone much worse, she could have actually tried to hurt them.

Anyway I think I told you Ching Chong's mother was coming for the wedding. Well she decided to stay with us for about a week, because fuck paying for a hotel when you can leach off family. So we pick her up from the airport holding a sign in Korean. First thing she did when she us was look up at me. She's at best an inch or two taller than Ching Chong. Then she asked if my hair was real. Well she asked Ching Chong if it was real because I can't follow lunar talk. But yeah she initially didn't think it was my natural hair color. Ching Chong told her it was though, because I'm not allowed to dye my hair. So we drive home with her luggage, occasionly pointing out at things and saying information tourists like to hear. Now I thought we might not be able to have sex because she'd be able to hear us. Ching Chong presented a solution to this problem, simply don't give a fuck.

So that night we turned on the Betty Davis and started going at it.

Pretty sure she heard everything. Not sure how much she understood but it's hard to misunderstand this kind of thing.

Anyways though we decided to write our own views. Now when Ching Chong showed me her first draft, all it had written on it was"Anon belongs to me, he is mine" then it just had "mine" written over and over again. I told her that this was not the best thing for a ceremony. After she hit for me a bit and I didn't change my mind she deiced to reluctantly agree. The marriage actually went off without a hitch. Though when by one of the patrons if we were going to "consummate" the union. Well her affirmative answer did creep them out.

So now flood the comment section with questions. I'll answer them, eventually.

I woke up early to make this post

So I was suppose to post this on Friday or something like that, but eh. I'm going to go ahead and recap something that happened over Thanksgiving.

So me and Ching Chong are at my parents house talking to the rest of the family. And my niece, you know the one who doesn't like me, well she makes a mean spirited joke about I tend to prefer to eat with my hands. She set it up pretty well, but the punch line was that I was an idiot savage who would eat fondue with his hands. Now Ching Chong didn't say anything right then, but I could feel her hand tighten around mine in anger and for a moment I saw a flicker of malice in those eyes. But it passed and she didn't do anything. No trying to punch my niece's skull out of her head or cursing her out. I thought okay maybe she's just trying to be civil and hold her rage back. Well later during the day she asked me to follow her and pulled me along to where my niece was and cornered her away from everybody. Then she let out.

Of course I should probably clarify that it wasn't as bad as the picture I'm using might make you think. She basically grabbed her by the shoulder and whispered threatened that I was her property and that when she made fun of me she was making fun of her, by extension. Then asked if she understood and called her a faggot. Which may have lessened the impact of the threat, but I think my niece got the message. Suffice to say I was trying not to laugh the entire time.

Now for a cute story. So we were watching Terminator and it came to that scene where Arnold goes into the club to go look for Sarah. Well you know that song playing in the background? I started singing along to it and Ching Chong gave me this dirty look and told me to stop. She didn't like the song I guess. So I shut up and we continued watching the movie. Then when we got to part where the truck explodes and the terminator's skin is now completly removed showing his metal skeleton I just broke out singing "She's got him burning, she's got him burning, in the third degreee"! Ching Chong was not amused, grabbed the pillow beside her and began hitting me with it.

I thought it was cute, anyways.

I'll make another blog post, when ever I get around to it. We're not really doing anything this holiday season because money is going to the wedding. Right now we've just been watching Tenchi Muyo and Game of Thrones mostly. Oh and of course "that".

Long time no post

Wow it's been quiet a while. To be fair me and Ching Chong were busy, but I really went for a long time without posting. I'll try and update more often in the future, hopefully, maybe, possibly.

So I think I posted in one of those yandere threads on /R9K/ that Ching Chong got me a collar. She did, only it wasn't a regular collar. It was a dog collar, with a name tag and address. Although she bought me another collar later when she found out she wouldn't be able to walk me around with a leash outside. So there's that.

However besides from general wedding planning stuff there was one other event that happened. Another girl was ogling me. Or at least she did in Ching Chong's mind. I don't know because I don't really pay attention to other women.....yeah that's why.

Anyways we were in the canned foods aisle at a local grocery store. I was bending down to pick up some canned chiles when suddenly Ching Chong steps in front of my ass. "This isn't a show bitch, he's mine" she said to a highly disturbed shopper. I turn around to see what's up and Ching Chong is giving this look of hatred and aiming to throw a soup can at some blondish woman, maybe in her early thirties or late twenties. Anyway the woman turns three hundred and sixty degrees and starts backing away, fear apparent in her eyes. Ching Chong then puts down her bitch stoning soup can back in the cart and tells me let's go. Of course the rest of the time there at the store she periodically feels me up. Anyways when I get home I ask her what the fuck happened. I might have asked right after the incident, but I know better than that.

So once she explained the situation to me I asked if she thought it was really necessary to threaten that woman. She started giggling and saying, "but Anon it's a sin to covet your neighbors property". I replied that it was also considered a sin to have pre-marital sex. She said "it doesn't count when it's your property", and then started giggling again. Then she told me prepare for my punishment for talking back. All in all a good day.