Thursday, November 1, 2012

My Mother is 2spooky

Okay guys I've got a number of things to write about so bare with me.

Okay first up let's go with Ching Chong's reaction to the news of Disney buying Lucasarts and the announcement of a new Star Wars trilogy. Okay so Ching Chong was the first one to find out. Her reaction was pretty energetic. She was just throwing out words and happy sounds in both Korean and English and I couldn't understand what she was saying. I actually thought she was going to rape me.

But then she calmed down a bit and said "New Star Wars" while pulling me over to her computer and pointing at the screen which was displaying a news article detailing the deal. My response was bueno. But before you ask what me or Ching Ching think the movie is going to be about I can already tell you it's not going to be the Thrawn trilogy made into a film, or any EU work adapted for the big screen. Why? Because the execs have said it's going to be an original (whatever that means in film nowadays) story that takes place something like forty to two hundred years after Return of the Jedi. Now here's our respective wishlists for the new films.

Mine:
Has a main character
Said character is a fish out of water who's new to the larger galaxy so the film explains shit to the audience.
Character may or may not be force user, but don't have them be a space messiah. Or at least explain what the fucking prophecy means.
Pick a tone and stick with it. No going from horrible murder to slapstick comedy in the next scene.
Get a tolerable director, screenwriter, ect.

Ching Chong's wishlist
No complex intergalactic space politics
Character's motivations are clear and understandable. Cute girls do cute things because they're cute, not because their mind is being controlled by a sith lord to fulfill some weird convoluted plan.
Characters show emotions and don't speak like droids.
Don't make the main character part of the Skywalker/Solo clan
Less sitting and talking more running and shooting
No super weapons

Now moving on from that I'll explain what we did for Halloween.

Well I took the day off of work because I could. Now we didn't hand out candy this time because only a few people came this year so we didn't see the point. Now because Halloween was on a weekday most of my friends couldn't really do anything so we stayed home and watched spooky movies. We watched Dark Water, Poltergeist, and the Sixth Sense. Dark Water didn't really scare her that much, but Poltergeist did for whatever reason. Ever that or she just wanted to wrap herself around me. Hard to tell sometimes. Anyways she thought that the kid in the sixth sense was a demon because he could see ghosts and that was the twist. When the actual twist became apparent she became confused. She wanted to know how he got past the big ass church doors if he's a ghost. Other than that Halloween was pretty uneventful  I do have some cute stories for you guys though.

So the nights are getting a bit colder around here and me and Ching Chong we're in bed and she was saying she was cold and that she wanted me to heat. So purposely being dense I told her I'd get an extra blanket. This caused her to grab my arm as I got up. And the way she looked at me I knew this was only going to end one way.

Well maybe not cute so much as borderline rape, but eh.

This one is cute though. So Ching Chong was making diner and we've been getting a number of political robo calls for the past couple weeks because the election is coming up. Ching Chong finds these to be fairly annoying, especially since quite a large number of them are anti-abortion ads. Now I don't think I need to explain to you how Ching Chong feels about that subject. So she's gotten two calls already today, the last one not too long ago. Well the phone rings and she quickly picks it up without even looking at the caller ID and starts yelling that if they call again she'll they "Rip a baby out of someone's womb and shove it up their asshole". Well it wasn't a recorded message on the phone. No. It was my mother. She had called to ask if we were still planning on coming over there to have Thanksgiving with the rest of my family. A few seconds after Ching yelled that her face turned from an expression of rage to one of a deer caught in the headlights.

She then started to stutter apologies before handing the phone to me. I picked up the phone and tried not to laugh as Ching Chong looked down at her feet in shame. So while trying to hold in chuckles I explained the situation to my mother. She was more confused than angry. Though she did tell me that she expected better behavior from her "future daughter in-law". Then I was the one stuttering with the surprised look on my face as my mother laughed across the phone line. She told me she was just joking but I'm not sure I believe her.

No I didn't tell Ching Chong about the daughter in law comment.

23 comments:

  1. You aren't going to take Ching Chong as your lawful, loving husband? :(

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  2. Actually, Ching Chong is the man in the relationship, Anon just happens to have the male parts.

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  3. I swear, you two are like the only two people I know so far to have any sort of non-rage reaction to the Lucasarts deal. I'm interested what they'll do with the movies, because lets be honest, it can't get much worse. I am worried about the vidya IP's. Maybe Disney won't be buttfuck retarded like Lucas was.

    In related matters, do you think you'll have a church wedding or a civvie one?

    >yfw Ching Chong in a wedding dress

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  4. Ching Chong is not the man of the relationship just because she rapes me.

    Not sure what kind of wedding we'd have. I mean we're obviously not getting a Mormon temple marriage. Buddhists don't really consider it a sacrament or anything.

    >Ching Chong in a wedding dress
    Doushio

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  5. Disney and Star Wars ain't gonna mix well. I just know it.

    >Anon walking down the aisle in a stunning wedding dress to a beaming smiling Ching Chong in a tuxedo.

    Yeah, she's tha mang, brah.

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    Replies
    1. Ching Chong doesn't make me wear a dress though. inb4 yet, inb4 I can't inb4. Besides if she was the man she would have already proposed.

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    2. >Implying she didn't and almost broke your skull when you said no like the faggot you are, leaving you with no recollection of that ever happening

      Keep deluding yourself, bro.

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    3. Requesting Drawfag of this scene.

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    4. Wouldn't that leave me in the hospital?

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    5. Who says you're not posting from there right now?

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  6. >Dark Water didn't really scare her that much, but Poltergeist did for whatever reason
    Because Poltergeist is FUCKING TERRIFYING! My parents left that on TV when I was like 3 or 4 and I must have just remembered it subconsciously, because the next time I saw (15 years later), I had a full-blown panic attack. It wasn't even during a scary part.

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    Replies
    1. Didn't scare me. But when I was young I saw a movie where a woman's head got chopped off in a window seal by a crazed maniac who had just removed her kidney in a bathtub.

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    2. Protip_its window sill or windowsill not seal. Also that man was clearly a traveling chinese emergency organ donation surgeon.

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  7. Replies
    1. Who gives a fuck.
      Marry her.

      And invite everyone who follows your blog to the wedding.

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  8. Ahh thanks I was looking for that gif.

    "Rip a baby out of someone's womb and shove it up their asshole"

    was that part of her Star Wars wishlist?

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  9. So, kinda off-topic, but I just spent the last hour or so rereading through all your posts here. It's pretty cool to see you style of blogging change over the months you've been doing this. Keep up the good work.

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    Replies
    1. Well, you've made it feel like a more... formal... blog? Like, for instance, in the beginning, you used greentext a lot to tell a story, whereas now it seems like you use it less. And, if you do use greentext, you seem to fill it in more with your own commentary or more paragraphs. Anyways, it feels like a more official, mature blog. At least to me. I could be full of shit.

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  10. You need to post a new story. I'm growing restless.

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    Replies
    1. Shut up or you'll scare him off like we did Vyro. Bloggers are a timid beast.

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