Remember Lifeday? Remember the red robes? Pepperidge farm does

Sup guys. So Christmas was yesterday and Ching Chong was adorable.

>December 25th, 12:01 AM
>I wake up to Ching Chong jumping up and down on the bed telling me it's Christmas time
>I pull the blanket over my head and tell her to wait a few more hours
>Nope
>She actually pushes me out of the bed
>"Christmas time anon"
>Get up and go with her to the tree
>Open your presents first anon
>Okay
>Go for the smaller present first
>It's a kindle
>I can use this read the electronic books that I legally purchased
>Next present is bigger 
>I ask Ching Chong what's in it
>HFW

>Open it
>It's another box
>Open that
>Another smaller box
>Do this a two more times
>Inside is a chocolate orange ball, one of those that you smash and splits into slices and a letter
>Holy shit long letter

TL;DR version: Even though we come from very different and faraway places, and even though it took some years I found you.

>Time for Ching Chong to open her presents
>She opens them slowly and carefully, making sure not to rip the wrapping paper
>First one she open is the charm bracelet I got her
>She immediately puts it on
>Tells me she'll always cherish it while hugging me
>Next present is also opened slowly and carefully
>Orange apron with the floral pattern
>Ching Chong really loves this present
>Her nose actually starts bleeding just like in my Chinese cartoons.

>And after that we gave each other other sorts of presents if you know what I mean
>We had sexual intercourse in the missionary position with the lights out under the covers
>We spent the rest of the day watching movies
>Like Alien and the Star Wars Christmas special, the latter was Ching Chong's idea
>Fucking unsubbed shyriiwook
>Also I think watching Alien made her even more disgusted of the idea of pregnancy

Good night sweet prince

So I learned today Dear Leader is dead, my condolences to Best Korea. Because it looks like their new leader is a Korean chris chan, may the gods have mercy on them.

Anyways I excitedly told Ching Chong and she didn't even know who Kim Jung-il was. I was astounded that she didn't know who was leading Best Korea. She really had no idea who he was. Shamefurr dispray. She's watching the news right now making gasping noises every so often. She thinks he died of fan death, which is actually a thing in Korea. I'm serious look it up they actually believe in that. Now in memory of the passing of dear leader a song is required.

Bowling adventures

So I decided to take Ching Chong bowling yesterday. We were actually proably going to just watch some of the things Ching Chong had torrented. So I convinced her that bowling would be more enjoyable. MFW she had actually planned for us to watch the Star Wars Christmas special.

Anyway we drive down the local bowling lane and fuck it is crowded. So as we're waiting in line to get our shoes we get to talking to these two sisters. Who I refuse to believe were not in an incestuous relationship. Anyways we agree to share a lane with them.
>Ching Chong grabs a bright orange ball and trys to hit the pins.
>It rolls into the gutter.
>This happens again
>I ask her if she wants to use the bumper things
>No I can do this
>It's her turn again and she throws another gutter ball
>I ask if she wants me to teach her
>Okay anon
>Have to show her how to aim, throw, and do everything
>Suddenly does very better
>I think she just wanted me to touch her in public
>Clever girl

>We say good bye to the wincest sisters after the game ends and return our shoes
>It is raining outside

>Ching Chong's face when I parked towards the end of the parking lot


So that was fun. Though I'm a little bit worried about Ching Chong because she's been sneezing a lot recently. I'm worried she might have caught something. If this post isn't up to my usual standards blame the local service providers and their recently shitty service.

Also I haven't seen a post from the V-man or anon and kitten recently. I'm sure the V-man is fine, he proably just lost sight of updating the blog. Anon and kitten on the other hand......well this proably captures you guy's feelings

*sexual pun goes here*

So sorry to disappoint you guys but Ching Chong didn't try and have butt sex with me.

You guys remember that story I told you about her having a bad dream of me leaving her and me calming her down by promising by that if I left her she could make me her property? Well she'd been thinking of that recently because of the holidays (don't ask me to try and explain how the two are connected in her mind). You've read enough shitty fanfiction slash stories to know where this is going.

>Ching Chong calls me into the room
>She's standing there fidgeting with her hands, her flash blushing
>"Anon I want....I want....I want you to be my slave, please"
>I can't help but laugh
>"Anon this is serious", she say's stamping her foot on the ground with her face turning an even brighter shade of red
>"I want you to be mine....I want to own you"
>"So what do you want to do then"?
>She points to sheets that she's fashioned into make shifts
>"I'm going to tie you up and make you.....make you my.....make you my"
>"Make me your what"?
>"Make you my...my bitch"
>Mustn't laugh
>"So get up on there and do...do what I say"
>lol okay
>She ties me up to the bed with the sheets
>Her face when

>I of course do and it begins

It essentially started with her fondling my genitals and it continued like this for awhile making me wonder whether she had chickened out. Then she starts to twist my nipples.

>Mel Gibson was right
>It hurts when you twist them
>Turns into a Tie and Tease
>Until I eventually do come
>She tells me that was too early and we're not finished yet
>She decides that she wants to sit on my face
>This is quite employable for both parties involved

So it was a pretty stimulating night. Not sure if we'll do that every time we have sex or just save it for special days. I mean Ching Chong and I enjoyed it but she was just so adorably nervous about the whole thing. Hard to take  it seriously from her. I don't know, this will probably require more "study" if you know what I mean.

Dragon dildos

So not much to report really. Ching Chong's been feeling better and things are going okay. Finals are pretty much done so nothing really big to worry about. Ching Chong bought my presents on Friday. She wouldn't let me look at them and had them wrapped up pretty quickly. I'm hoping one of them is a dragon dildo. Also Ching Chong said she wanted to "experiment" in the bedroom soon. HFW

So that should be fun. Also to the anon in the comments who has the crazy ginger girl, do it faggot.

Sad times

So it's that time of year again. The time I get to drink Eggnog. I love that stuff. Anyways the holidays at the Ching Chong household are going well. Ching Chong recently bought one of those small like foot tall sit on the table fake trees which have these needles that light up like lights.

Random fact about Ching Chong: She believed in Santa until she was eleven


 Anyways yeah. So I made a thread on /adv/ last week on what to get Ching Chong for Christmas. So I went with /adv/'s advice and decided on getting her jewelry.

>It's Saturday
>I'm working
>figure I'll just get the present after work
>About to clock out
>Customer comes in to pay to fill up his car
>Easily recognized meth addict (meth is very popular here, especially with the Turistas we get her)
>Scars over his face, he's got the shakes and has trouble getting the money out of his wallet
>Takes forever to do the transaction
>Finally can clock out
>Drive to store, looking at the bracelets and necklaces they have
>Charm bracelet with her birthstone
>Pretty Green shiny stuff
>Buy it
>Still feel like she needs something else
>Decide to make one more stop before home
>Go into another store and just start looking around
>Kitchen section
>These fucking aprons man
>One of them is Orange and has flower patterns
>Yes get
>Check my phone to see what time it is
>Dead, probably been dead for awhile
>Drive home to Ching Chong
>Open door
>Ching Chong is sitting in kitchen crying
>Notices I came in
>Marches over to me
>Her eyes are red and puffy
>Hugs me while sobbing
>Then begins pounding on my chest with her tiny fists
>"Where were you anon, I couldn't get a hold of you, I was scared"
>"My phone was dead and"
>"I was worried, I thought something had happened to you"
>"Calm down I'm fine and I was just out shopping for your gifts"
>HFW

>She kept saying she was sorry and that she was stupid for acting that way
>Says she doesn't know why I put up with her and that she's worthless
>Look at her tell her not to say that
>She tells me I'm crying
>Tells me she's sorry again while we hug

The late road rage story, also no whores were stabbed

Sorry guys I know I said I would post yesterday but Ching Chong decided to spring something on me. More on that later.

>Driving back home from parents house
>Fucking traffic
>Ching Chong is sleeping in the passenger seat beside me
>Cars had to be moving at about ten miles an hour
>Well the car in front of us slams on his brakes because some moron tried to merge in front of him
>In turn I slam on my brakes. 
>Ching Chong's head flies forward and hits the dash board
>That pained scream, it didn't sound human
>Then she begins yelling in Korean
>No idea what was said but it could have been good
>Traffic has stopped, holy shit think they heard her
>Try to calm Ching Chong down
>Nope 
>Now she's thrown some English words in there, mostly whore, that was her favorite word
>People in other cars are looking at us
>Still more yelling
>Ching Chong eventually calms down
>Later I ask her what the hell happened
>She claims it never happened
>I point out the growing bruise on her forehead


















>"Shut up anon"

As for why I wasn't able to post earlier. Well Ching Chong has asked my mother about some of the girls I dated earlier.

>She got their names. 
>Found their pictures on facebook 
>and printed them out.
>Then she lay them before me
>And told me I needed to explain to her why and I'm using her words here why I "settled for lesser women", why she was "better than these whores", and just "how big of a whore were they"
>Which is better than hunting them down and killing them I guess
>So she had lined them up in alphabetical order and had me start
>The"how big of whores were they" was her wanting me to reveal to her every bad thing about them and then making me exaggerate it to great lengths
>It was like an integration and she wanted me to route them out as horrible villains 
>The weirdest part was how easy I went along with it
>It was creepy how good she was at making me say things
>Like she could control my mind

>Eventually we got to the last one, who was ironically my first girlfriend
>To give you a little bit of information about her she was crazy
>Not in the fun way, but more in the sheltered religious fundie crazy
>She was the stereotypical Molly Mormon
>Only held hands with me, nothing further
>Wanted me to go on a mission when I turned eighteen (two year stint of dressing up in a white shirt, black pants, going door to door in some foreign place to tell everyone about a con man from upstate New York and how they should join his church)
>Then we would have gotten a temple marriage
>Worn the silly underwear
>Had like six kids
>And live horrid unfulfilled lives as followers of a cult
>I was actually considering it too (I was thirteen and quite stupid)
>Then I sat down and read the Bible, the Book or Mormon, Doctrine and  Covenants, and the Pearl of Great             price. 
>Destroyed my faith completely and lead me into apostasy 

>Ching Chong was surprised that the girl wanted a lot of kids
>And really surprised she wanted to give birth to them
>Which is how I learned Ching Chong thinks pregnancy is a disgusting act that she never wants to go through
>Then she made fun of the girl for wanting that

>I am very okay with this

So yeah things are going good. Ching Chong has decided not to hunt down my horrid pig disgusting ex's and I'll never have to worry about Ching Chong trying to impregnate herself as part of some whacky scheme of hers.