Yeah I died but I took a dip in the pit so I'm better now.

Hey everyone I know I haven't posted in awhile. Honestly it's because I forgot about the blog for awhile. Anyway things have been going pretty well for me. I'm now just working part time so I've been able to work on my cooking skills so I can make better food for her. Now time for cute stories.

I was laying down in Ching Chong's lap while she was petting my head and we were watching Star Wars rebels. She really likes it, especially Zeb the alien muscle guy, who I've decided to call fuzzy purple butt-cheeks. She doesn't really care for that nickname tends to punish me when I say it, I say it a lot obviously. But back to where I was. We were watching the show when suddenly she asks "do you think Jedi use the force when they have sex?" I reply maybe, but they probably don't get much action because of the code and shit. She leans over and whispers "I'm going to use some force on you later tonight". It took me ten seconds to process that horrible pun. She laughed that I was so slow on the up take and said she was going to have to punish me because "a trooper should be smarter than that".  Well I though it was cute.

Okay another Ching Chong was talking to my mother about this trip she took a Mormon temple the church just finished building. Well they have this thing where they let outsiders and people who don't lie about their activities in order to get a temple recommend inside the place before it's consecrated. So she's talking about all the stuff she saw pretty celestial rooms and whatnot. I guess she also mentioned the story of Jaredites or maybe it was the Nephites, probably the former though. Because later she got through talking to my mom she goes to our book shelf and grabs my Quadruple combination of the standard works and starts flipping through the pages.I come over and ask her what shes looking for. She holds the thing up and asks me "Did the Jews have submarines in this"?

Now I know what you're thinking right now? Jewish submarines that's ridiculous there's no way she heard that story right that idea is completely stupid. Well you're technically right she did misunderstand the story and that's not that stupid, it's even dumber than that. So the story is in the book of Ether and it's about the Jaredites who a group of people lead by Jared (because Smith was too lazy to come up with a better name) and they just escaped the tower of Babel. Well then Elohim tells them they've got to build these barges, eight of them. Now these barges are made of wood but are airtight save for two air holes (one in the top and one in the bottom, i.e., only one usable at a time because they would be submerged by water occasionally.).  These boats contained not only people, but livestock and seeds of many kinds, apparently with enough food and water that no landfall was necessary (the trip was the length of a standard year). They then ended up at Lake Ontario. Then after they had pretty much killed themselves by civil war the Nephites (Jews) showed up in the western hemisphere roughly 1,500 years later.

Ching chong had kind of gotten bored about halfway though me describing it though so she just told me to start making diner already. When I'm making stuff however and she's there she can be rally uh handsy. She'll do things like walk by me and slap my ass, lean over and sniff me, trail her fingers along my back, lick me, ect. It's a game where I have to keep focused and not get a boner otherwise I might end up ruining the food and she would punish me.

It's a fun game. Not as fun as when we feed each other, but still fun.

Oh also Ching Chong apparently showed pictures of me to her co-workers, because they kept asking what her husband looked like. She was disgruntled about this. Said it felt like she was sharing me with them and that she doesn't want to have to let anyone else have me. She also elaborated a bit on why she likes that I'm on the path to becoming a full fledged house husband. Basically when we eventually get the money to move out of the apartment and into an actual house she plans on having a pretty detailed security system installed so that she can watch me anywhere I am in the house from her phone. Make sure I'm doing okay and that no one has broken in and taken me. She actually kind of wishes she could just have me on a leash and be with her all the time when she's out. However that's not really practical because there are a number of buildings where you're not allowed to bring in dogs and I do technically classify as her bitch.