The state of nature is war, so let's tear up this club.

This month has been pretty fascinating. So we told Ching Chong's mother about us and stuff. Well first we had to get her to get Skype and teach her how to make a video call. Anyways she looked at the screen just expecting to see Ching Chong and she saw me sitting right next to her daughter. I tried to say "Hi I'm your daughter's fiance" in Korean, like Ching Chong taught me too, but I fucked that up. She had no idea what I said. So Ching Chong started to explain, and she just sat there listening, just siting there. Then, after Ching Chong was done she began to interrogate me. Well technically Ching Chong translated why she asked questions. I think I figured out which side of the family Ching Chong's temper comes from.

She asked a lot of questions obviously. Who the hell was I. What did I think gave me the right to marry her daughter, ect. However after awhile Ching Chong took over for answering for me, saying that I was her property, that she was going to have me, explaining the uh power dynamics of the relationship. However Ching Chong went a little bit further then that, she also explained the uh....sexual....dynamics. Her mother was pretty shocked by that.

I think her mom took it pretty well all things considered. Now I know you're asking "Anon why would Ching Chong explain her sexual ownership of you to her mother?" Well I asked her the same thing later. She said it was to reinforce the point that she was the one in charge of the relationship. I'm not sure if it was the best way to make her point, but it worked. Her mom no longer thought I was taking advantage of her or pressuring her. Then Ching Chong went further and demanded that she give us her blessing. Her mother was caught off guard by this, but Ching Chong was pretty forceful. Her mother seemed kind of scared of her, like she she thought Ching Chong would come through and beat her up. Ching Chong then pretty much ended the call with her telling her mom that she was going to be the one to tell her father about us cause she didn't want to deal with his "retarded ass".

I don't know how that's going on her end. I mean she called a few times. Actually said a few sentences in broken English to me. One of them was asking if I would be wearing a dress at the wedding. That was, well. Ching Chong said I wouldn't be though because I'm too "tall looking" for dresses. Speaking of too tall.

So you know how it's common for the bride and groom to dance first at the reception. Well even though the wedding isn't until March she wants to learn how to dance with me now. She's not that good at dancing and we've never really slow danced or anything before so it was different. By different I mean really awkward due to height differences. So she put on some heels to try and giver herself a boost. Now I told her dancing with heels was a bad idea. But she didn't want to listen. So she nearly fell a couple of times and I got my toes stepped on. So yeah we'll never be able to suddenly break into song and dance and summon 1960's spider-man with our camp it looks like. I just wonder when this bruise on my big toe is going to go away.