two stories and a third

So story time, this happened Thursday. Okay first part was I was sleeping and having a dream. Well more like a nightmare. At first it just seemed like normal life but then Ching Chong started acting like an opionated faggot who was perpetually butt-mad, in other words she was the anthropomorphization of /a/. Picture is pretty related, it was pretty much the entirety of it.

And then I eventually woke up. Now this was a pretty weird dream. But things got even weirder when I woke up. Allow me to explain. Ching Chong and me both move around in our sleep so when I wake up before her (something that happens rarely) I usually expect one of us to be awkwardly sprawled on top of  the other. However today Ching Chong was spooning me. Which at first was adorable but then I realized she wasn't asleep in the next moment. How you ask? Well because she was chewing my hair and making cute noises.

Sounded sort of like this. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kYdYv0sSF9I&feature=plcp

Which odd was still sort of adorable so I didn't move and pretended to be asleep. Well at least for a little while before nature called. Then I spoke up and told her I had to go use the restroom.  She slowly stopped chewing on my hair and let me go, trying to hide her face in shame. Because I guess I wasn't suppose to find out she did that when I was asleep. But really I don't care, I mean it's not like she's inserting things into my urethra or something.

Anyway then this was this other story which happened Friday. Okay so we were watching some cartoons that I had legally purchased. I had made bean burritos because we live in the South West and fuck Eastern food like clam chowder oh and calling pizza's pie, stop that shit. Anyway back to the story. So anyways we'd eaten my lousy food. Now as we were watching said cartoons Ching Chong expelled gas. I giggled and her face turned red. Then an idea sparked in my head and I pretended to start choking. So you know I pulled out what little acting skill I had (3rd grade play where I was Abraham Lincoln) and pretend to be dying from lack of oxygen. Then I pretended to be dead. Now at first Ching Chong just rolled her eyes and frowned at me. But then as I continued to lie there on the floor unresponsive she became a bit worried. Went down to my body and tried to find a pulse (I don't think she even knew how to check for one because she had her fingers pressed against the top of my wrist). Since she couldn't find one she started getting worried and calling mine name telling me to get up. HFW

It was at this point I realized the joke had gone too far. So I got up and told her I was just playing a joke on her. At first she hugged me, then she slapped me, and then hugged me again. She also told me I was never allowed to leave her, never ever. I apologized for being a dick and things went better than expected.