>"Ching Chong I have to tell you something"
>"What is it anon"? She asked cautiously.
>"I'm pregnant and I don't know who the father is". I say.
>HFW
>Then out of nowhere she lets out a quick jab with her fist at my abdomen.
>I bend over as the win is knocked out of me
>Then she starts talking again
>In a rushed and high pitched voice she ask "did I get rid of it"? Over and over again.
>I manage to cough out that I was joking.
>She realizes she dun goofed
>"A joke".
>"Me too anon. I was joking also. It was funny right? Right?
>Then she let out a very unconvincing and very creepy laugh.
>She's been pretty clingy since yesterday, more so than usual
>I think she feels bad about the thing but doesn't know what to say
So in conclusion
>Ching Chong ignores the fact I don't have a uterus
>Tried to perform an abortion
>Used the Falcon punch method
>Is embarrassed about the whole debacle
I'm glad my idea worked for you, even better that she knew a falcon punch cures teen pregnancy and was willing to implement it.
ReplyDeleteHer medical knowledge was surprising.
DeleteShe punched you so hard she knocked the win outta you. You a bitch ass nigga. Damn.
ReplyDeleteOh yeah? Well how about you find a small Korean girl to punch you and see how it feels? Huh? That's what I thought.
DeleteOh my goodness she's fucking crazy.
ReplyDeleteEven after reading all these stories, I think I was just convincing myself that she, in fact, wasn't. That she was just into some different things, and that was normal. I frequent /d/ so it was all good. And sure, this or that could be explained by cultural difference or just a lack of knowledge.
But jesus fucking tits man.
She tried to falcon punch the fetus outta you. Fr srs.
That's fucking hilarious. Seriously the funniest thing I've heard from these.
...But fucking outta her mind nuts. Like, when Nat died, we weren't quite sure.
But if you stop posting, we /all/ are going to know what happened. Without a doubt, death by Ching-Chong.
Holy fuck mate.
Good laugh though.
I don't think she'd kill me, not on purpose anyway. She loves me too much, the loneliness would crush her. However drugging and holding me against my will? Well now that's a different question.
ReplyDeleteMakes you wonder if Nat is still alive but in a basement or chained to a bed until he gets her pregnant so he can't just cut her out of his life due to the levels of crazy. I forsee kids in your future, like it or not. On that note, I'm curious, what would the two of you do if she became pregnant?
DeleteWell considering her "distaste" about the whole human birthing process I'm guessing I'll have to take her to the clinic as quickly as possible to make sure she doesn't make a grab for the coat hangers.
DeleteThis was so delicious.
ReplyDeletePlease don't let yourself get eaten.
I'm actually thinking about acquiring myself a "Ching-Chong", too.
Thank you for inspiring me.
Do it. It's more glorious than anything you can imagine. Also maybe post about it. I'm sure people would want to compare our experiences, for science you know.
DeleteWhere the hell are you gonna get one?
DeleteI just set it into motion.
DeleteI'm taking out Ching-Chong Jr. on Friday.
I'll keep you updated!
I look forward to it.
DeleteIs she as obsessed with you as Ching Chong was with anon to start with?
DeleteI only have one thing to say about this.
ReplyDeleteWHAT THE JESUS ASS? God damn, this is getting crazy. Crazier than Nat. Dude, you're fucked.
>crazier than Nat
ReplyDeleteKitten wanted to eat (and probably did it) Nat. Ching Chong just falcon punched her boyfriend. They're both crazy.
You two are just jealous that your woman can't perform an abortion with her fist.
ReplyDeleteThis is flawless reasoning. Nicely done.
ReplyDelete