Fever. All day and all night

We take off for my parents home and get there okay day before thanksgiving. Things are going good talking to parents just telling them how things are going getting settled in for the weekend exc. Well anyways somehow Ching Chong brings up sleeping accommodations  Now you may or may not remember that last year Ching Chong and I slept in different rooms. She in my old room, and me on the couch in the living room. But things have changed from last year, in that Ching Chong has become more, shall we say accustomed to sharing the same bed as me. Now my mother is a fairly religious woman, and thus like most LDS woman doesn't want their sons having sex before marriage and usually look down on cohabitation before marriage. Now my mother hasn't voiced any criticism of us living together but she didn't want us sleeping in the same bed while under her roof because of reasons. Well Ching Chong wasn't up for that this year. Not because she wanted to engage in sexual congress, well she might have, but that wasn't the desire she was acting on. No she just wanted to sleep in the same bed as me. So she begged my mother to share the bed with me. Now by beg I mean actual begging, with the puppy eyes and everything.

Suffice to say my mother could not say no.

Other than that Thanksgiving was relatevely uneventful. We saw the film Lincoln. It was pretty great. The Union forever, Hurrah boys, hurrah! Down with the traitor, up with the star! America fuck yeah! Eh moving on from my love for the Union.

We came home and things were pretty calm. At least for awhile. You see Ching Chong decided to get revenge for that tickle session I performed on her. I was just laying on the couch when all of the sudden Ching Chong sits on my butt and grabs my feet. Then she starts tickling them with her tongue. I try to reach back to pull her away but I can't get a good grip on her. So I do the only thing I can think of. I yell out "No, not in my foot pussy". This only egged her on though as she attempted to bring me to climax by stimulation of my feet. It didn't work, but not for lack of trying. I was only able to get her to relent by telling her that if she let me go we would do something really fun. She accepted my term, not knowing what they actually entailed.

I'm not sure when she's going to extract revenge for that.

I think Ching Chong still has some lasting regret that she wasn't my first though. Why do you ask this? Because she's shown me some short stories she's been writing. And well, pic related.

They're all crime stories about women being raped, killed, tortured, maimed, exc. And the physical descriptions of them tend to match those of my ex's. Though she hasn't contacted them or tried to locate them or anything. So as long as she just keeps this on paper it's an acceptable outlet. No I'm not going to post them.

You will never get to be a Wookiee Sith lord.

Hey everyone sorry it's been awhile since I updated but Ching Chong's been pretty energetic because she's excited we're heading to my family's house for thanksgiving this year again.

Let's see where to start?

Oh I know Ching Chong and I have been watching Walking Dead again. We're both pretty happy Lori died, she was dragging the rest of the group down. Sad that T-Dog died, but I guess they can only have one black guy at a time. Also Andrea is a slutty bitch whore in Ching Chongs opinion, I'm inclined to agree. Sword girl is pretty cool though, though her swordsmanship seems unrealistic. Glen and Maggie are probably gonna get tortured. Speaking of torture though......

So I'm laying on the couch after getting home from work just relaxing. Then out of nowhere Ching Chong climbs on top of me and starts tickling my ribs. I laugh while trying to push her hands away to get free but she's determined. Realizing I won't be able to escape her I start begging for her to stop in between involuntary chuckles. Ching Chong says she'll let me go if I offer her my body. No in a position to negotiate for anything I concede to her demands. Alas she begins her tickle assault on me again mid-coitus, all the while saying that I'll be punished if I ejaculate before she wishes.

Not sure if cute or lude but I thought I'd share it.

Anyways after the deed is done we cuddle with each other for awhile. Eventually Ching Chong looks me in the face and bluntly asks if she's "weird". I ask here what she's talking about and she says sometimes she wonders if I'd prefer her if she was in her words "More like other girls, and less bothersome". It was this time I tossed her on her back and said "How's this for bothersome" as I started my own tickle torture session. Which caused he to swear vengeance upon me. It was fun.

Changing subjects to things that aren't fun though. Ching Chong downloaded the S.S. Tortanic. Her reasoning was that it was free to play and it was Star Wars. The graphics are pretty low save for the cut scenes which is where I suspect most of the budget went to, well that and the purchase of child sex slaves. Anyway the gameplay is fairly restricted if you don't want to pay. Now one thing people like to say is that TOR has the most VA's and spoken lines of any game or something. Now while that is true some of the dialogue is a tad cliched in certain istances. Giving me this kind of image.

I'll post sometime next week regarding our Thanks Giving day stuff. In the meantime complain about how it's bullshit you can't play as a species that isn't a human re-color.

My Mother is 2spooky

Okay guys I've got a number of things to write about so bare with me.

Okay first up let's go with Ching Chong's reaction to the news of Disney buying Lucasarts and the announcement of a new Star Wars trilogy. Okay so Ching Chong was the first one to find out. Her reaction was pretty energetic. She was just throwing out words and happy sounds in both Korean and English and I couldn't understand what she was saying. I actually thought she was going to rape me.

But then she calmed down a bit and said "New Star Wars" while pulling me over to her computer and pointing at the screen which was displaying a news article detailing the deal. My response was bueno. But before you ask what me or Ching Ching think the movie is going to be about I can already tell you it's not going to be the Thrawn trilogy made into a film, or any EU work adapted for the big screen. Why? Because the execs have said it's going to be an original (whatever that means in film nowadays) story that takes place something like forty to two hundred years after Return of the Jedi. Now here's our respective wishlists for the new films.

Mine:
Has a main character
Said character is a fish out of water who's new to the larger galaxy so the film explains shit to the audience.
Character may or may not be force user, but don't have them be a space messiah. Or at least explain what the fucking prophecy means.
Pick a tone and stick with it. No going from horrible murder to slapstick comedy in the next scene.
Get a tolerable director, screenwriter, ect.

Ching Chong's wishlist
No complex intergalactic space politics
Character's motivations are clear and understandable. Cute girls do cute things because they're cute, not because their mind is being controlled by a sith lord to fulfill some weird convoluted plan.
Characters show emotions and don't speak like droids.
Don't make the main character part of the Skywalker/Solo clan
Less sitting and talking more running and shooting
No super weapons

Now moving on from that I'll explain what we did for Halloween.

Well I took the day off of work because I could. Now we didn't hand out candy this time because only a few people came this year so we didn't see the point. Now because Halloween was on a weekday most of my friends couldn't really do anything so we stayed home and watched spooky movies. We watched Dark Water, Poltergeist, and the Sixth Sense. Dark Water didn't really scare her that much, but Poltergeist did for whatever reason. Ever that or she just wanted to wrap herself around me. Hard to tell sometimes. Anyways she thought that the kid in the sixth sense was a demon because he could see ghosts and that was the twist. When the actual twist became apparent she became confused. She wanted to know how he got past the big ass church doors if he's a ghost. Other than that Halloween was pretty uneventful  I do have some cute stories for you guys though.

So the nights are getting a bit colder around here and me and Ching Chong we're in bed and she was saying she was cold and that she wanted me to heat. So purposely being dense I told her I'd get an extra blanket. This caused her to grab my arm as I got up. And the way she looked at me I knew this was only going to end one way.

Well maybe not cute so much as borderline rape, but eh.

This one is cute though. So Ching Chong was making diner and we've been getting a number of political robo calls for the past couple weeks because the election is coming up. Ching Chong finds these to be fairly annoying, especially since quite a large number of them are anti-abortion ads. Now I don't think I need to explain to you how Ching Chong feels about that subject. So she's gotten two calls already today, the last one not too long ago. Well the phone rings and she quickly picks it up without even looking at the caller ID and starts yelling that if they call again she'll they "Rip a baby out of someone's womb and shove it up their asshole". Well it wasn't a recorded message on the phone. No. It was my mother. She had called to ask if we were still planning on coming over there to have Thanksgiving with the rest of my family. A few seconds after Ching yelled that her face turned from an expression of rage to one of a deer caught in the headlights.

She then started to stutter apologies before handing the phone to me. I picked up the phone and tried not to laugh as Ching Chong looked down at her feet in shame. So while trying to hold in chuckles I explained the situation to my mother. She was more confused than angry. Though she did tell me that she expected better behavior from her "future daughter in-law". Then I was the one stuttering with the surprised look on my face as my mother laughed across the phone line. She told me she was just joking but I'm not sure I believe her.

No I didn't tell Ching Chong about the daughter in law comment.

Bowcasters are the best form of diplomacy

So I was able to get Ching Chong to socialize so more. But before that cute story.

>Come home
>Ching Chong is not there to greet me like she usually is.
>Odd
>Hear some crying/whimpering nearby
>See a shape covered in a blanket
>Crying/whimpering is coming from it
>Remove blanket in dramatic fashion
>See this

Well except it was Ching Chong with the Zaku she got for me, but I only have so many images at my disposal.

She had apparently knocked it over while dusting and some parts had come off and she wasn't able to put them back on right. So she did what and rational person would do in this kind of situation. Cry under a blanket hoping you figured out some way to put it back together. To be fair though the manual was in moon runes so you would have to figure out from the pictures which aren't as descriptive as you would like them to be. Anyway I managed to put it back together, though I had to prove to Ching Chong I wasn't mad at her. And there was only one way to do that......

Moving on from that story it's time to tell you how Ching Chong's socialization time went. So what I did this time was to have one of my friends set up a fun group activity. In this case a table top role playing game, the Star Wars one, because those are usually fun sessions and I figure it would interest Ching Chong. So it was her and a couple of my friends.

I'll try to summarize.

>Ching Chong: Human Jedi Guardian
>Me: Wookie Soldier-head of security
>That girl who played patty cake with Ching Chong: Twi'lek Noble-acting as the diplomat
>Another friend of mine: Rodian scout-hired mercenary protection
>The GM: A very patient man

Anyway setting was this. We all started on a Republic diplomatic cruiser that we had been traveling on to a outer rim mining colony. It was during the separatist crisis before the clone wars and we were there to negotiate a new contract between the pro-Republic mining company that owned the planet and some commies who were being courted by CIS scum who need to check their privilege . Anyway we sit down to negotiations and begin drinking anytime the GM has the npcs say the words "compensation", "profit", "slave labor", or "work hazards". Anyways while we're drinking away our boredom one of the worker's representatives started to die. He was poisoned. Now the GM had this big political mystery plot but in our state we decided that was boring as fuck. So we pooled together our limited knowledge and decided that some one high in the Republic must be responsible for the assassination. Then we realized Palpatine was behind it all because Dooku was a Jedi and assassination wasn't in his character.. So we started killing the republic crew members with righteous fury and we took our ship to one of the mining towns to start a revolution that would make Maximilien Robespierr proud. Ching Chong eventually ended up becoming regent of the planet after getting a number of darkside points on her chart. Anyways we declared ourselves separate from the republic and put the children back to work in the mines to prepare the for the coming war.

Some of the highlights were blowing up orphanages  tearing people's arms out of their sockets, torturing children in front of their parents in order to get them to talk, chocking people with hands, choking people with the force, chocking people with their own hands that I tore off their arms, crashing a ship into a space station, dropping said space station onto a city, and inter-species rape. All our characters we good though, chaotic good, but good because the Republic was bad. I think the GM was sad we hijacked his plot with drunken shenanigans. Oh well 10/10 game would fuck up his plot again.

Ching Chong also said that I was her bitch. That gave people some very strange reactions. Probably didn't help that she was drunk and had a weird facial expression going on while hugging/molesting me.

I don't really remember too much of what else happened.

You will never have a girl cut off circulation to your entire arm.

So Ching Chong trying to make friends was interesting. But before I tell you about that I want to tell you about a dream I had on this weekend

>be on plane with Ching Chong
>Plane lands
>Get off of plane
>Be in lesser Korea
>Meet Ching Chong's mom
>She gives me disapproving looks
>Ask Ching Chong where her father is
>She points over to a man holding a sign that reads "Whitau Pigu go home"
>Go to her parents house
>Some time passes
>Breakfast time
>PSY (The guy from the Gangnam style vid) is making breakfast
>Ching Chong asks him what we're having for breakfast
>"We're having Reesses for breakfast"
>"Candy for breakfast", Ching Chong asks?
>"No! Not candy! Resses Puff cereal" I explain, "it's like delicious candy in every bite!"
>Then everyone starts to dance in a highly choreographed style.

It was weird. Ching Chong even said so. Also if you're wanting to know how her parents would think of our relationship if they found out. Well this picture captures it pretty well.

That's how they would see it.

Anyways Saturday was pretty interesting. I told Ching Chong I was inviting some friends over the day before so she had at least a chance to say no with she didn't want to. Didn't want to try and force it on her. Now I'm not sure if she realized this was all part of my grand socialization plan for her or I just wanted to hang out with some friends. Didn't really matter though.  She was okay with them coming over. We we're just going to marathon some movies and shoot the shit. What neither Ching Chong or myself foresaw though was the fact that everyone brought a horror movie. So they could have super spooky scary Saturday. Now I've shown Ching Chong a few scary movies like the Thing and Alien. Both of which frighted her pretty badly.

Well we watched a couple of films.

First up was Romero's Night of the Living Dead. A classic, which I don't think I need to explain. Then there was Suspiria which felt like I was freaking out on acid. I couldn't  really follow what was going on but fuck man it was freaky. Then we saw the 1976 version of Carrie. Ching Chong sympathized with Carrie, and actually cheered her on when she started killing everyone in the gym. Last we watched Audition. That was insane. The girl in it makes is crazy, even Ching Chong thought she was bat shit insane. Anyways afterwards Ching was all.

Wouldn't let go of my arm and wanted the lights on for the rest of the night. she did socialize a bit. Talked a little and actually played patty cake with the one other girl there. I don't know why the girl asked Ching Chong to play patty cake with her, probably just to see if she would.

I think my friends see her as some sort of Dandere moeblob or something.

So yeah the thing went okay. Going to try to do something that requires her to interact a bit more eventually. Should be fun. Especially since alcohol will most likely be involved. It's going to be great.

I don't think I can come up with a witty title for this.

So I tried to get Ching Chong to make friends. I think I can say operation amity and harmony failed. Mostly because Ching Chong tended to freeze up when speaking to new people and hide behind me. She would be talking rather hesitantly to someone and then just stop mid sentence and but me between them. Suffice to say people were a bit weirded out and I had to try and explain that situation to some perplexed individuals. I just told them she thought she was speaking English incorrectly and got really embarrassed. After class I asked Ching Chong what the hell happened. She was hesitant to say anything but finally said, "I don't want friends, I have anon. If I spent time with them then I'd have less time with anon".

Then she put on a happy face and acted like nothing happened as I just stood there in stunned silence. So yeah, failure.

I was perplexed and bamboozled, but I was curious so I later asked her about this a bit more. And I learned some very interesting things. I could just lay out the conversation we had but I think it will make more sense if I reveal this information by telling about Ching Chongs past some more.

I've already said that Ching Chong didn't have the best situation at home and that her first relationship did not go well at all and that because of that she got picked on by other kids. Well I never went into great detail. They were incredibly cruel. Holding her down and writing whore on her forehead with marker, trying to strip her in front of others, would steal stuff from her locker and desk, write nasty letters about her and leave them on her desk. Group work was hell for her, other students would refuse to work with her and the teacher had to force them to work with her. Which in the end only made the situation worse as it drew attention to her. She became pretty depressed and was considering doing some very rash things. Well that was until she decided to try and use some magic spell thing she found on the internet.  She took an apple and a knife, and stand before her mirror. Then sliced the apple into pieces. Stuck some pieces on the point of the knife and held it over her left shoulder. Then looked in the mirror. Now the point of this little ritual is so you will see a vision of your future spouse appear behind you to take the apple. Guess who she claimed to see? Yeah. No I don't personally put much stock in superstitions or such things, but Ching Chong, well she's a different case. From there on she set about making sure she set about doing her best to in school so she could go learn over seas. Yeah she came here to find some pale red haired faggot who she allegedly saw in a mirror.

Anyways she eventually did arrive in the states and took that history class not so long ago where she saw me. Now at first she wasn't sure how to proceed and she was waiting for me to make the first move. Well waiting might not be the right word seeing as she stalked me and what not.  But when I lost that job and needed a new place to live well, she pounced on that opportunity.

Ching Chong didn't tell me this before because she thought it might scare me away. I wasn't sure what to think at first. But then i realized that with all the other stuff Ching Chong has done that this is just another one of those interesting stones on the rocky road to something something cheap metaphor.

Questions?

A New Hope

So it's been awhile since I posted. So I figured I'd make a post. Well we finished the Twilight fanfic turned erotic (I use this word lightly for reasons I'll explain later) bestseller, fifty shades of gray. We did not attempt to read the two other books in the trilogy. The origins of the book have caused some discussion and controversy. For those of you who don't know the books came from a twilight fanfic entitled Master of the Universe, sadly it was not a cross over with He-man. Now despite the author claiming otherwise even a blind vulture on LSD could see that the only thing she did was change the name of characters. Now fanfiction has been around for a while, and we've all read some pretty bad ones in our time. But last I checked nobody was making money off them. So should E. L. James be getting sued by Stephanie Meyer? I don't know I'm not a lawyer. And unless some kind of legal action makes its way to the courts this question won't have a definitive answer. But bear with me here. What if we are now entering a time where it is now acceptable to profit from other writers’ characters and situations without seeking permission? And does this end at just literature? What about movies, TV shows, plays, or video games? Now this destruction of intellectual property might sound frightening at first, but think of the possibilities. We could redo the Star Wars prequels. We could take midi-chlorians, the gungans, the plot holes, and all that other shit and dump it on Lucas' lawn. Just think about it, that's all.

Anyway, on to the book itself. Like I said it's still a Twilight fanfic. It’s a straightforward tale of Girl-with-low-self-esteem who meets a ridiculously handsome Boy, gets Boy, has lots of sex, angsts, cries a lot, and is annoying to read. Partially because of that low self-esteem thing. In fact the book opens up with the protagonist complaining about her flaws while looking in the mirror. “I’m too pale, too skinny, too scruffy, uncoordinated, my eyes are too big, they're too blue, blah blah". Also just like twilight female protagonist the one in this book is a virgin. Not only that she's kiss less virgin who's never held hands with anyone before. Now before you go chanting "one of us" I should tell you she has also never masturbated or even experienced sexual arousal before. Also she's a moron. She's amazed at the concept of emails, signs a contract without even reading it, and is shocked that there are helicopter pads in the middle of a city.

Gray is portrayed as a cold-hearted sexual predator who's particular erotic style has developed because he is psychologically "sick". Stereotypes abound. Frankly though, in BDSM terms, Grey is incompetent. Even I, a guy whose sexual actions are only slightly left of vanilla, know that his use of cable ties is a very bad idea, as they could cause nerve damage or scaring. Soft but thick is the best way to go in the rope department. His choice in the female protagonist is also shit because only an idiot would have a virgin sign a sex contract filled with things like anal fisting, fire, electricity, and some things I had to actually look up.

Yet despite this we never get to see any of that stuff. Nope. All Gray gets busy with is a fur mitt, riding crop, restraints and pleasure beads, there’s nothing that will be particularly shocking to anyone but the virginal heroine, Anastasia, who is outraged when he asks if she's on birth control. Also the author is just bad at writing, so that was a turn off too.

In conclusion it sucked, the only saving grace was that I read my parts in the voice of the greatest republican president of the 20th century, Richard Nixon. Ching Chong's face when she heard things like “my inner goddess is doing the dance of seven veils” or “my inner goddess is contently sitting in lotus position” or “my inner goddess is writhing…” in tricky dicks voice. 

Moving on from that crime against literature though.

Ching Chong caught a stomach virus recently. She woke before me like usually but on;y made it out to the couch before grabbing the nearest trashcan and preceding to vomit. I eventually woke up and saw the sight of her hunched over the garbage can, while telling me to look away. Because apparently she thought I'd be grossed out or something because vomiting isn't ladylike or something. I don't know. Anyways I help walk back to the bed and tell her she needs to rest. It took a bit of convincing to get her to do so though. So I go and get some over the counter medicine to try and sooth her stomach. All those chew-able tablets did was make her bile pink. Anyways I asked her what she wanted for breakfast, I was thinking of making her some kind of soup or something since she was sick. Well, Ching Chong didn't want that. No, she wanted French toast, with maple syrup and powdered sugar. Somehow she managed to keep it down. Then afterwards she wanted me to read her a story. So I took out my kindle and asked her what kind of story she wanted. She said Star Wars; sometimes I think she's obsessed with that space opera. Anyways I pulled up my legally purchased copy of Vector Prime and started reading it. We spent the rest of the day like that. At the point when I got to Chewbacca being killed by Serpindal's moon. Tears went down her face. 

Ching Chong and I starting classes. We managed to sign up for a biology class together. I'm hoping I can get her to make a friend in the class. Or at least talk to people. Don't have a whole lot of hope for that. I'll write a post on that if any success comes from it. Originally I was going to tell her that she needed to make friends so she could have a maid of honor, but then I realized that would have been retarded. I don't know, any suggestions on how to get Ching Chong friends would be appreciated.